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Should I end it? =[
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, I probably secretly know the answer to this but i want to know whether it is true or not and what I should do.
Okay, I met this guy online in January 2008-who lives near Wales, whereas I loive in London, and we have been talking ever since. Then it ended up into us having an online relationship. Now it was okay, and over in December he came over to visit for 4 days. That was really nice (if a little jam-packed).
Once he left, I have begun to feel really down, and keep wondering if I should be in this relationship, cos I find it hard to say 'i love you' and be all lovey-dovey as it were like a normal couple should ^^; I don't think I can really cope with distance, and the only time i will ever get to see him very often would be in 7 years after he finishes uni. Until then I would only get to see him every year, maybe twice if I'm lucky. :crying: I had these doubts before he came, and I think when he was round I didn't really have those thoughts, but when he's not here well it's completely different.
I don't know what to do! It's hard to explain how I feel, I mean I love him, but I don't know whether I'm IN love with him *doesn't really know the difference*. It's wonderful to talk to him, but I don't know whether it's cos I'm maybe not ready for a relationship, whether it's just not right, or whether the distance just makes me imagine things.
He loves me so much, and I don't want to break his heart- only to regret it. But thinking about this hurts me too, I don't know what to do ><
If anyone can actually make sense of what I've written, please help! (I've probably answered my own question but sometimes it takes a random person to tell it straight i guess) Woah there are so many questions in here..I don't know how many can get answered but I'm really sad about this and I need to sort it before it gets out of hand?
:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
Okay, I met this guy online in January 2008-who lives near Wales, whereas I loive in London, and we have been talking ever since. Then it ended up into us having an online relationship. Now it was okay, and over in December he came over to visit for 4 days. That was really nice (if a little jam-packed).
Once he left, I have begun to feel really down, and keep wondering if I should be in this relationship, cos I find it hard to say 'i love you' and be all lovey-dovey as it were like a normal couple should ^^; I don't think I can really cope with distance, and the only time i will ever get to see him very often would be in 7 years after he finishes uni. Until then I would only get to see him every year, maybe twice if I'm lucky. :crying: I had these doubts before he came, and I think when he was round I didn't really have those thoughts, but when he's not here well it's completely different.
I don't know what to do! It's hard to explain how I feel, I mean I love him, but I don't know whether I'm IN love with him *doesn't really know the difference*. It's wonderful to talk to him, but I don't know whether it's cos I'm maybe not ready for a relationship, whether it's just not right, or whether the distance just makes me imagine things.
He loves me so much, and I don't want to break his heart- only to regret it. But thinking about this hurts me too, I don't know what to do ><
If anyone can actually make sense of what I've written, please help! (I've probably answered my own question but sometimes it takes a random person to tell it straight i guess) Woah there are so many questions in here..I don't know how many can get answered but I'm really sad about this and I need to sort it before it gets out of hand?
:crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
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Comments
Yes I am an arsehole.
If you're not ready for a relationship then come clean with him.
You'll figure out the love thing later on but I'm guessing you're not in love with him. Don't feel bad it's all part of life just don't waste he's time
It sounds like you've got a difficult decision here - to stay with your long-distance boyfriend who you may only get to see once or twice a year or to break up with him and move on.
Ultimately, only you can make the choice, but there are a couple of things you might want to consider before you make it. Firstly: is it just the distance? Perhaps, over the next couple of days, you might want to take some time out for yourself and think about what you’d want in an ideal relationship - and match it up against the relationship you're in right now. While no relationship's perfect, it might help you to discover why you're now feeling unsure about this guy.
Long distance relationships can succeed, but they can be really hard work as well. One key factor in their success is often communication. Perhaps don't worry too much about not being able to say 'I love you' - every couple's different there. However, it is important to be able to talk about things - both things you're excited about and things that are bothering you. Does this guy know how you're feeling at the moment? Are you willing to talk to him about perhaps visiting more often? This might be a difficult conversation, but TheSite.org's communicating as a couple article has some tips.
The old saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' isn't necessarily true, and it may be that as your talk to your boyfriend or as you think about what you want from a relationship, you find yourself feeling that this guy isn't the right one for your in the long-term. This may seem an incredibly painful decision, but when it comes down to it, the sad truth is that not all relationships last for ever - and breaking up with him may allow you both to move on.
Sorry for such a long answer. Hope it helps a bit.
Take care,
Tash
Sorry to sound harsh, sounds like a tricky situation