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Jealous of ex's, is it normal?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
is being jealous of your bf/gf's ex(es) normal? why should you feel bad, if they dont care about them anymore? (its different if they do still care, i suppose) what can you do to prevent it?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    newturf wrote: »
    is being jealous of your bf/gf's ex(es) normal?
    I think a lot of people do feel this way, but it's not a very healthy way of thinking.
    why should you feel bad, if they dont care about them anymore? (its different if they do still care, i suppose) what can you do to prevent it?
    You need to be happy with yourself and happy with your partner. Once you realise that they are with you because they want you, it should become easier. There's no point comparing yourself to your partner's exes, as they're history.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jealous of ex's, is it normal?

    Hi

    I would say (and its a matter of opinion really) that being jealous of your partner's ex's is normal to a certain degree. For example being interested in what they looked like, what their relationship was like, if she/he had more fun with their past partners etc. The key is to keep it in balance and to not ask things you wouldn't be happy to talk about if they asked you.

    Its how you deal with these feelings that matters. If you're bombarding your partner with questions, demanding to see photos, asking unreasonable questions about inappropriate things that your partner is finding difficult to answer then it becomes a problem.

    Thesite.org has an advice page about jealousy that you might find helpful to read.

    Its probably something you can overcome with time and support from your partner. Tell them to tell you when they feel you're being overly jealous and be open when you feel hurt. If they keep going on and on about how 'their ex did this and their ex did that' then let them know that comments like that hurt you and make you feel bad.

    Hope you feel better soon & good luck!

    Lisa
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's a normal feeling. I used to feel like that too but over time it goes away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I always feel it at first, and then it fades as i get more confident about my own relationship
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't feel jelous of my current bf's ex's, even his last one who he was engaged to. Although there's one girl and she's not technically and ex just a girl he had a bit of a thing with then he moved round here and and I don't know if I am jelous of her or just don't like her :chin:
    She has a bit of a rep and I don't trust her at all, I know my bf would never, ever do anything but she may try and get him to.

    But I suppose it is normal to be jelous at first...but I think as your relationship grows that feeling fades :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not jealous of his exes because they were dickheads. But I used to be very jealous of the ones he'd had 'things' with because they were pretty and the time they had together was fun.
    I'm proud of myself for writing 'used to'! =]
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