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Flatmates
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Do you get on with yours?
One of mine is cool, but the other puts me down a lot and has a superiority complex...
Gets on my tits and I dunno if I should say anything... He told me not to leave my "shit" in the sink when that was the other flatmate and I am the only one who cleans properly anyway. :rolleyes:
I don't even bother to talk to him because anything I say, he basically argues against and anything I do seems inferior to him. e.g. I was discussing a book with a mate and he said "oh, another person who has never lived in the real world" about the author... A book he's never read by Emma Goldman. Regardless of your politics, that woman was pretty amazing and he just assumes that because she thinks differently, she's sheltered (btw, he worked a job for 2 years working 8 hours a week whilst Mummy paid rent and he thinks I go to dangerous places lol we live in a really safe part of town).
Fact is, he's really getting on my nerves and I dunno if I should tell him because I think he's quite insecure and has issues. I don't really care what he thinks... I just don't know how to tell him to stop being a dick and putting me down because I really cannot be arsed and am struggling financially as it is.
it's just the superiority thing which annoys me... I don't care about the geekiness or the mess. Just everything I seem to do is inferior, the films I like are crap, the food I cook means I'm not eating properly (I cook from scratch, he lives off pizza ect).
I'm fed up and just wanna leave.
One of mine is cool, but the other puts me down a lot and has a superiority complex...
Gets on my tits and I dunno if I should say anything... He told me not to leave my "shit" in the sink when that was the other flatmate and I am the only one who cleans properly anyway. :rolleyes:
I don't even bother to talk to him because anything I say, he basically argues against and anything I do seems inferior to him. e.g. I was discussing a book with a mate and he said "oh, another person who has never lived in the real world" about the author... A book he's never read by Emma Goldman. Regardless of your politics, that woman was pretty amazing and he just assumes that because she thinks differently, she's sheltered (btw, he worked a job for 2 years working 8 hours a week whilst Mummy paid rent and he thinks I go to dangerous places lol we live in a really safe part of town).
Fact is, he's really getting on my nerves and I dunno if I should tell him because I think he's quite insecure and has issues. I don't really care what he thinks... I just don't know how to tell him to stop being a dick and putting me down because I really cannot be arsed and am struggling financially as it is.
it's just the superiority thing which annoys me... I don't care about the geekiness or the mess. Just everything I seem to do is inferior, the films I like are crap, the food I cook means I'm not eating properly (I cook from scratch, he lives off pizza ect).
I'm fed up and just wanna leave.
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Comments
Tell him.
In the mean time, just be content you know he's a fool and essentially ignore him. By ignore, I mean be very passive. If you're in a discussion like you said, and he barges on in with some dumbass comment, dismiss it absolutely. Don't even turn your head towards the noise. That's not the person you were talking to anyway.
Or patronise him.
Or do both (or neither, depending on your mood) and call him out. Tell him what an ass he's being. Confront people like that. Ask him why he thinks your diet sucks, why he thinks your film/artistic taste is crap. If he can't justify it, tear him a new one. You're paying to live there too. There's no reason why you should get treated as less.
Either way, be sure to have your finances set before you leave.
Sometimes we'd get on ok, but most of the time he was an arrogant,egotistical, selfish, annoying bastard - and only to me!! He seemed to get off on the fact that I wasnt able to handle his joking, sense of humour etc as well as the others that I lived with (i was the only girl so i guess thats the main reason) and as a result, did it more and more just to purposefully upset me.
The point when I 'finally' said enough was enough - was when one night Id forgotten to lock my bedroom door, and he barged in without asking, and proceeded to literally pin me to the bed. He didnt DO anything, but because he was so much bigger than me, there was no way i could get him to get off me (even shouting for help had no effect), and he ended up doing that for about 2 hours before getting bored and leaving. (what a sad asshole if thats all he can think to do at night)
Aaanyway, after that I phoned up campus security and they made him move. Kindve made me apprehensive, what with thinking he'd get revenge or whatever, but turned out that whenever i ran into him after then, he was very pleasant - the guards must have drummed some manners into him :rolleyes:
Aaand ive also just realised that 'really' this is in no way similar to your problem.
My advice however, is to just tell him directly that he's pissing you off and is hurting your feelings/annoying you etc. And if that doesnt seem to have any effect, then theres the backup option of getting someone else involved to sort it out. I wouldnt be patronising to him though as that may just make the situation worse! I know in my case when i stood my ground I just made him more annoyed and willing to patronise me further :impissed:
WTF!?!?!? What a cock!!
Hey Namaste, have you and the housemate you do get on with had a chat about how you feel? It might be worth working together to resolve some of the issues?