If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Falling in love?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
No, I'm not falling in love. :razz:
When people talk about 'love', to me it goes over my head. It just doesn't interest me and beyond the sexual, long term romantic relationships don't appeal, neither does the concept of romantic love.
However, I have friends who fall in love easily and love to be in relationships.
I am sometimes described as a passionate person and a friend once told me that they wish they could feel passionately about something. I don't see how you can't really care about something passionately.
I always considered falling in love to be a human choice, but some people argue that you have no control over it. Maybe passion is a human choice... Or again, maybe it's something we have no control over?
So I was wondering... Do you think that our likelihood of 'falling in love', or being 'passionate' about say... A social issue is a choice? Is it an influence of our families? Or maybe being in love is just a different direction of the passion we have?
Are some people just not able to be in love?
My head is fuzzy... so answer how you like.
When people talk about 'love', to me it goes over my head. It just doesn't interest me and beyond the sexual, long term romantic relationships don't appeal, neither does the concept of romantic love.
However, I have friends who fall in love easily and love to be in relationships.
I am sometimes described as a passionate person and a friend once told me that they wish they could feel passionately about something. I don't see how you can't really care about something passionately.
I always considered falling in love to be a human choice, but some people argue that you have no control over it. Maybe passion is a human choice... Or again, maybe it's something we have no control over?
So I was wondering... Do you think that our likelihood of 'falling in love', or being 'passionate' about say... A social issue is a choice? Is it an influence of our families? Or maybe being in love is just a different direction of the passion we have?
Are some people just not able to be in love?
My head is fuzzy... so answer how you like.
0
Comments
I think there is every possibility that youll fall in love some day. It doesnt have to interest you, it just has to happen.
I don't just me...
I mean do some people have personalities which make them more or less inclined to 'fall in love'?
maybe?
I was just thinking maybe with your dyspraxia - i know it can have a lot of aspergers symptoms and that may be something to do with the way you experience stuff like this.
Im not very good at articulating this, partly because im not "exactly" sure what im trying to say.
My son who is dyspraxic and possibly aspie, is very very funny about people in that there are very few people he would say he loves, and can be quite weird about some emotional stuff - just doesnt get it.
Im not saying this is you, because youve never said anything about aspergers and also hes a child and youre not, and i guess romantic love and other love is a bit different, but its just the train of thought that im thinking. Im probably not making much sense, sorry
I'm usually miserable when in love.
I guess because 'love' is such a subjective thing, it's difficult to pin down.
I do think that there are people who obsessively search out someone to love andfor someone to love them back. I'm not sure about there being people who are more 'inclined to' tho. I agree with SCC that there are certain disorders like aspergers syndrome that would make it difficult for a person to express love or to relate to others.
Interesting to here somebody else say that! I personally find it very difficult to 'fall in love' but when I do I initially enjoy it, although I quickly develop the symptoms described above...
When I was younger I seemed to fall in love all the time. I used to get that butterfly, funny feeling in you gut thing but now I worry I', emotionless.
It seriously worries me because I don't want to settle for someone, I want to need somebody.
It's weird. I see all my mates settling down, getting married and having little ones, and I feel left behind. I used to belive in meeting the ONE but now I feel almost desperate.
Not depserate to get laid, that aint a problem. Dsesperate to find somebody that makes me content. I want to have kids, and I want that to be with somebdoy that I'm in love with.
I just wonder, if you lack role models, or maybe say... if you start dating later, you may not have developed that ability?
I suppose I do have difficulty relating to a lot of people... I don't do 'small talk', or enjoy relationships which require a lot of emotion.
*nods* I've been just like this for years now. I've been out with people and had meaningful relationships but there's just never been that spark to make it stand out or feel special. Was beginning to think that perhaps I've just got cyncial and untrusting as I've got older and in order to protect myself I'd shut off letting someone get close enough to have those feelings so I don't get hurt as such.
Im not in any way saying you have aspergers. Im just saying that they are well known to be closely linked so it wouldnt be out of the question for you to have some traits and not others yet you wouldnt actually be classed as having it.
All of the above is a little how i feel to be honest. When i was younger i was always meeting people who gave me butterflies, who i fancied etc. The older i've got the pickier i've got, the less i find people who i have a chemistry with and the less i bother to have serious relationships due to lack of something.
I'm not worried and i don't feel desperate about it but i have started to realise that maybe i'm just not like everybody else. I suppose deep down i would like to think there is a "one" out there, but at the moment i don't remain convinced. I guess i just don't feel "love"
as easily as others, i'm more cynical and tough to convince
I think it's some kind of weird disposition. It happens to some people easily, others not. I fall in love with every song I hear, every book I read, every film I watch. I can't help it.