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I never fancy anyone
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi I'm new and I'm looking for some advice. My problem is that i have yet to get laid, but i always find something wrong with any guy who would ever hit on me. I really want to have sex but i'm so picky about the type of person I would have sex with. He's never usually good looking enough and if he ever is he usually ruins it when he opens his mouth! If i ever meet a guy who has that 'nice personality' and who i have a laugh with i genuinely like them but I don't want to get with them at all if I'm not physically attracted to them. I always imagined when i was a minor that i would have great sex with this really hot guy. I guess i watched too much television and read too many magazines as a young girl. I'm hardly ever attracted to anyone I meet and I'm missing out. I keep telling myself off and my friends say I have to lower my standards but if I'm not attracted to them there's nothing I can do to see them in any other light. I don't want a boyfriend at all. Just someone to have some fun with. I just spend my time getting myself off to the image of hot, well-mannered, very hygienic, usually Adonis looking men, with great teeth, great hair and no facial hair. It's ridiculous but i've spent so many years dwelling on that, that I can't break away from that idea. Apart from telling me I'm silly and shallow do you have any advice on what I could do to over come it?http://vbulletin.thesite.org/images/smilies/banghead.gif
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I dont think thats an entirely advisable way to do things, she may well end up feeling worse/used than she did before.
If you wait the right person will come along eventually...but not knowing how old you are ...if you are younger than me just continue to have fun if that is what you want until you are ready to have a relationship?
Do what you feel is right for you? Remember to if you want to lose your virginity there are precautions to. Sex is a great thing. Do you want to just lose your virginity to someone you do not really know or someone that you have got to know better?
Good luck and hope it all works out.
Its quite hard to give you any advice when you have answered your own question - you want the perfect man, you want a single, sucessful, rich, good looking guy with a good personality and that man does not really exist...
So you either lower your standards to something normal or continue with the standards that you have and either have a fairytale romance or die a virgin.
The only person who can change the situation is you. if you don't want to then it won't ever change and you will be frustrated and annoyed forever.
However, if you're just into having fun, and nothing serious, then why worry so much about them being perfect, it's not like you're gonna be with them forever, just have a good time!
lol. He doesn't have to be rich or successful. I'm just have a hard time being actually sexually attracted to someone is all. I think its like you sed above that i never have yet just clicked with somebody. And looks aren't everything no. But let's face it if he has a nice personality, we'll have to be just friends. what the hell does having a nice personality have to do to with wanting to have sex with them if you're not physically attracted to them? i don't get that. Girls say, 'oh but he has a nice personality'. Well I meet girls with lots of nice personality and there's a nice old man down my pub with a nice personality. This means i want to be their friends not sleep with them! I know i'm being picky but what i was never ready for was the fact that i'd be the odd one out. I thought it'd be very easy to be attracted to a guy because every ones doing it but for me this just never happens! And i used to want a boyfriend but at this stage I just want action!
I must say it's even a tad annoying to read stuff like this. It's the usual "Oh, no one is ever good enoug for me" story. Yes, that may sound harsh, but try to take the point and to do something about it. There's only one person in the world who can change this, and that's yourself! You claim you want to have some fun, but if you reject every guy that's into you and if you haven't tried to check out any guys yourself either, then you can't really blame anyone else. You also say that you never thought you were going to be the odd one out, but yes, that's what happens if you are never satisfied with potential partners.
Countrary to the popular belief, the shining knight on the white horse is never going to accidentally ring your doorbell one day, so one option is to get out there on the market yourself. Why not try internet dating where you're being honest about what you want?
Nope never done it. I'm sorry you find it 'a tad annoying' that apparently no one is ever 'good enough for me' but do you genuinely think i set out to make getting it on so impracticable. I don't think I'm too good for everyone. I damn well do think I'm too good for the sleazy, lewd pieces of crap who approach me like I'm some simple slut instead of talk to me like a human being. In fact that's one large point that puts me off. Why is it that when most guys approach, they can't talk to you like you're an actual person and have a genuine chat, y'know like you've got a brain and not just a pair of tits and a minge? what the hell is up with that? Am i supposed to be impressed by that? It's so tacky and smutty (cue the old 'guys are just victims of insecurity' bollocks) As a virgin I am seriously not ready for that. Maybe I am just looking for someone I can feel comfortable losing it to and that's why I'm so picky. Maybe its a kind of fear. Or maybe i'm trying to make it special. Oh I don't know!:banghead: Internet might be a good idea tho. I've been looking. Nothing good so far but must press on........
Maybe you're going to the wrong places!!
You say you don't want a bf.... so you're looking for some Drop Dead Gorgeous bloke in a club to sweep you off your feet, make you feel comfortable and ensure your first time is spacial....?....I think you're living in a dream land. :eek2: Some random dude in a club isn't going to be bothered if your comfortable with him or not, he'll just want to get he's nuts in. Lets pretend you do find Drop Dead Gorgeous guy and he does tick all the right boxes, he'll likely be drowning in pussy so how are you going to stand out from the crowd eh?
I reckon you need to chill and disloge this 'ideal' man from your brain. They are loads of blokes that have the look you fancy but you'll never get any action if you keep prejudging blokes without getting to know them fully. Go down the bf road it'll be safer in long run!!....or, do as juicyjoanna said and get drunk, that way at least all the blokes will seem more attractive and you might end up having some fun.
I'm going to be smug here and comment on how I have found my ideal man so I win.
But that's mean.
Really, I agree with others. I think you've got to just relax when you meet guys instead of judging how ideal or not they are. You never know, you might have got rid of some great guys already!!
Then try to hang out with other people and/or other places. Some clubs/discos/bars are also more or less meatmarkets where some go with only one thing in their mind, so could be a good idea to avoid those.
Again, good idea to choose some better places. Also these guys may be quite young? Keep in mind that the guys chasing the girls are often the most extrovert ones, and if you just meet these, then you're a bit biased. Why not trying to talk to the quieter guys instead?
Sounds like you're trying to stress with just getting it over with.