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I love my bf but think i might be gay????
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my partner for 3 years and have been living together for 2.5 of that. We live like we're married, with the big house, joint accounts and animals as our children. I love him very much and although we have our issues, I want to stay with him.
The problem is that i think i'm more turned on by girls. I never get really wet for him and I prefer girl on girl porn. I have had sex dreams about girls too. My partner even makes jokes that one day i will leave him for a girl.
I'm scared. I love him but don't know if I'm just settling. A girl a work came out last year, and she was telling me that she fought her feelings for 10 years trying to "be normal" and was never quite happy. Now she has a girlfriend and she feels great.
My partner is so great to me and I don't want lose him and then find out i'm not really gay but i don't want to waste 10 years either. What can I do??
The problem is that i think i'm more turned on by girls. I never get really wet for him and I prefer girl on girl porn. I have had sex dreams about girls too. My partner even makes jokes that one day i will leave him for a girl.
I'm scared. I love him but don't know if I'm just settling. A girl a work came out last year, and she was telling me that she fought her feelings for 10 years trying to "be normal" and was never quite happy. Now she has a girlfriend and she feels great.
My partner is so great to me and I don't want lose him and then find out i'm not really gay but i don't want to waste 10 years either. What can I do??
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Comments
Hi Chicken,
Welcome to the boards! :wave:
Sexuality can be something that we struggle with for a long time before we can fully understand ourselves. Just because you have sexual feelings toward people of the same sex, doesn't necessarily make you gay. Just as being able to enjoy a full happy relationship with the opposite sex, doesn't make you straight.
It can be confusing and scary to confront how you feel and there is no need for it to be a rushed thing. You have a boyfriend and owe it to him to be 'in the relationship' with him but that doesn't mean you can't take some time for yourself and some space to think. Do you have a friend you could stay with for the weekend without your boyfriend? Not necessarily to confide in them if you don't feel comfortable but some time apart might help you to think better.
There are some advice pages on thesite.org which might help you. This one is about exploring your sexuality and the feelings that can arise from that. This article might also help, its about labels regarding sexuality and how they can be unhelpful.
Keep posting and talking to someone you can trust.
Lisa
Don't rush into anything you might regret; take your time to figure things out.
Good luck!