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im confused
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
one night when i was really drunk i started kissing one of my best guy mates. i wanted to go out with him, but he said he didn't want a relationship, "Lets be fuck buddies" he said. i don't know why, but i agreed. we've been fuck buddies for about 6 months, and he keeps going with other girls and ignoring me, and only ever calling me when he wants a shag. none of our friends know about this, and its really awkward when we're with our friends. he just treats me like shit. i realized that i falling in love with him. what do i do?
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Hey, welcome to thesite - you originally posted in a really old thread (from 2007) so I've split your post so you have your own thread to discuss this issue. Hope thats OK.
That's the big idea of a fuckbuddy.
cut all ties. Distract yourself, meet up with a lot of friends when he's not around. be busy and put your mind on other things. pick up some hobbies. You must make space between you both. I think it's safe to assume that you are not getting a relationship out of him and seeing/screwing him is not going to make your situation better.
:yes:
Again :yes:
but i love him and i cant cut myself off from seeing him - we are friends with all the same people, and my brother works with him (diffinately the wrong person to get involved with i know) sometimes i really love him, but sometimes i hate him so much... im just soo confused
Well first of all, you need to stop sleeping with him. If he's only getting in touch when he wants a shag, and he treats you like shit, then you need to stop that straight away. You're being used. Do you actually think he would make a good boyfriend, as you're obviously seeing what he's really like?
Perhaps you need to have a chat with him and explain how you are feeling. He's certainly got everything his own way right now.
but...but...but...but...
He doesn't love you back and you're becoming more and more miserable by longing for something you can't have. You will have to make your best effort to stop seeing AND thinking about him. I doubt your entire friends circle meets up together all the time, you can still see your friends without seeing him. Have a talk to him that he shall please stop calling you all together, because you are developing feelings for him (this is usually what kills being fuckbuddies anyway. One party feeling strong for the other).
Unrequited love does suck, yea, tell me about it, but unless scientists come up with a better solution, withdrawal until the feelings wear off is the only things that really works if you aren't a Zen Master and can turn your feelings off by meditation.
Even if you refuse to accept that now, sooner or later you will have to go down that road and it gets harder the longer you wait.
just leave him before he does!