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Depression, suicide
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been struggleing with depression for a while now. i have up days and down days but on the whole im just not happy. recently i have felt trapped in life. its a weird feeling. its like everying no matter how positive just makes me feel down. there is loads of things going on atm and i just cant help wishing that i could die and no one would care. its scary as i know deep down that if it wasnt for the guilt of hurting my mum and dad then i would of done it by now. i cant stop going over in my head exactly how i would do it, where, even what i would write as a suicide note. i know i must sound like a little emo who ran out of sweets and is bragging about how they want to die for attention but its not. its really not. im in councelling but i just feel like i need someone close just to be there and everyione feels so distant. tiny things that go wrong make me want o cry and scream and throw things. really tiny things. i hate it. i have an undiagnosed joint disorder which prevents me from doing any physical activity. i can walk and thats about it. im on painkillers and anti inflamatories all the time now and im seeing a baffled rheumatologist. dont know the point of this thread really. just thought i would say something as i dont really feel like i have anyone else to say anything to.i know there is a thread about this but its pretty full and thought my post would just get lost. anyway anything will greatly be appreciated. anything at all.
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Comments
I've been where you've been more than once, try to hang on in there.
Depression is an extremely consuming illness which can strike at any time. It can often feel endless and impossible to overcome, but like Twisted Trinity said you have to remain positive and defiant that you will get better.
It’s really encouraging to hear that you’re seeking help for your depression by speaking to a counsellor. It’s a great first step and even though you might not be feeling the benefits right away, I’m sure that it’ll help in the long run. If you’d like more support, or just have a chat with someone that’ll understand you, try calling a helpline to talk about any problems. The Samaritans run a round-the-clock ear for anyone who needs to talk. You can call them on 08457 909090.
I can totally understand how not being able to do any physical activity can have a massive impact on your depression. Try and stay busy with anything you can think of and give yourself lots of little projects to work on; it's surprising how little tasks can distract you.
You mentioned the depression sticky, and I think you’d really benefit from having a read through some of the posts on there. It just shows you that you aren’t alone in your suffering and lots of people do get through it. As hard as it may be, try and stay positive and please remember that these boards are always open for you.
Hope this helps and you start feeling better soon.
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