How can I make my mum understand this?

Former Member · September 2008

Having recently moved into year 11 at my school, i've got to decide what school i want to go to for sixth form. I already know, and have done for the best part of a year, that i most definitely do not want to stay at my current school for this.

There's actually another school nearby in the same town which offers the IB as opposed to A-levels, and I'm sorely tempted by this school.

This'd be a simple enough choice for me, I'd gladly make the move to it, my dad has no issue with it whatsoever. My mum, on the other hand, is almost completely opposed to it. I've tried speaking to her before about it and she just will not talk about it with me, the best response i've got is a noncommital grunt, or the simple statement "I don't think the baccalaureate is a good idea, universities only want a-level students". I can't see how i'm supposed to persuade her that I completely despise my current school (most of it anyway, the parts I do like aren't great enough that I'd want to stay).

I also wanted to go to this school before when I was about to move into year 7, and she again said it wasn't a good idea and that (my current school) would be a better choice, pressuring me into deciding on this one, rather than the one i preferred.

I can see the logic in her deciding for me when I'm only 11 years old, but really, surely now I'm 16 I should be allowed to decide for myself? I'm not exactly a child anymore, and if it's a mistake, so be it. It may well turn out if i stay on and do A-levels at my current school it'll be a mistake, the chances are about equal from what I can tell.

How can I possibly make my mum see this and let me decide for myself?

thanks in advance

Former Member · September 2008

have you asked your mum why shes so opposed to you going to this different school? from her point of view, she just wants to do the best for you whether you like it or not. but obviously you have your opinions and as your 16 you have the right to choose where your future lies. is there a specific reason you want to go to this school, ie mates who go there?

Former Member · September 2008

I don't actually know anyone at this school, so really the reason I want to do it is because of the courses it offers, many of which aren't even an option at my school. This and I think that, as a person, I'd find the IB more rewarding and interesting.

The only reason my mum's given about this so far is that she thinks "universities don't want IB, they want a-levels." which, meaning no offense to her or anyone else, she never even tried to go to university, so I don't think she can be qualified to judge, surely?

Could be worth mentioning that she herself went to this school thirty years ago, before they did the IB, which may be influencing her opinions.

Former Member · September 2008

(thanks xsazx, I found that really helpful + informative

)

Just for a little status update...
I paid a visit to the school itself today, just with the mind of picking up a prospectus which, I hoped, would have something to assuage my mum's fears about this. Sadly, they won't have any 'til october, but I've been invited to the school's open evening next month also, at which their head of sixth form said he would try and better inform my mum about it on said evening. Hopefully I can get her to go... if not, my dad would definitely take me I reckon.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post

anyway, thank you for your posts so far, they're making me feel much less like i'm trapped with only one option in life

Former Member · September 2008

Just doing a bit of research in 5 minutes it does seem A levels are marginally preferred but that's in the same way that 'classical' subjects such as Maths, Physics, Chemistry are preferred. It's something to do with the depth of learning.

From what I picked up, IB is more demanding in a breadth sense i.e. you will have to do a bit of everything but A levels can be more demanding in a depth sense i.e. go to a higher level in one specific discipline.

But the differences are probably marginal in reality, and nobody has done both so can't really say. I think you should go to whichever college you want to. In my case I went with the local one my mum told me I was going to (as a mum of 4 it's hard enough keeping everything running smoothly without me suddenly deciding I'm going to a different college and need lifts or bus fare every day). I didn't do as well as I could have - I know that - a combination of circumstances saw to that. I didn't have the choice of subjects I wanted either. But, like everyone I made do and I had a really good time, and now I'm at a great uni that I love so can't really complain.

Basically, although it seems like a massive thing now, I don't really think it is in the grand scheme of things. Same with which university you go to, actually. Imagine if we got so stressed over the primary and middle schools we went to... (although I wanted to go a public secondary but again can't afford / too much hassle - I even went for a week by invitation as a marketing exercise no doubt because I did so well at primary school)

Former Member · September 2008

to be honest, my choices on career seem to change daily

for the last few months i've wanted to be a doctor, then a surgeon, then a psychiatrist, etc, anything medical, then more recently i had a random shift into wanting to go into advertising in some form :chin: though I've yet to settle on one

As for subjects... i was considering english/maths/spanish/chemistry/biology/psychology, spanish, psychology and biology being subjects that i really enjoy, and chemistry being chosen under the assumption I go on to study medicine

also, good news is that I've at least got my mum to go to the open evening after a lengthy discussion a moment ago

this is progress and i shall not deny it

How can I make my mum understand this?

Comments