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Alcoholic Friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have a friend who is quite a bit older than myself, who obviously has a drinking problem. They are nearly always drunk whenever I meet them. I have hinted at them recently by saying lets go for a coffee rather than booze, and the other night I forced them to drink a coke. I am in my 20s and talking about someone who is around 15 years older than myself. I have decided that I should probably limit the amount of time I spend with them in a pub because of this if thats where we are. Anyone have any ideas/tips how to go about suggesting things to them as they are a sensitive type?
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First of all, seems like you did a good start by suggesting that you do something else than going out for an alcholic drink, so maybe you can do this again as (from what I read) they didn't drink at this time? Focus on events/things to do that's not usually connotated with having a drink, perhaps some kind of sports. Suggest a match of Tennis or gather some people for some football. Try to find out more about their (non alcoholic) habits if possible, if you don't know that much about them, try a another friend of them if you know about someone.
Second, if they are prone to severe drinking, we're talking about alcholism, which is a diagnosis. Remember that only proffesionals should be the ones stating a diagnosis, so at some point you're probably going to have to confront them with their habits and tell them that you're worried and that they should really go talk to someone (profressional) about it. Many people that suffers from alcholism don't realize their problem though, and they might get back on you for making such "accusations" (From their point of view), so it might be a good idea to try to discuss it with someone that's close to them. Maybe a relative or good friend. It could also be a good idea to call some alcholism-hotline within the british health-service-system, some departments also focus on talking to people that are related to or have some relationship to victims of alcholism. What I'v written here is more or less just general guidelines of how to deal with issues like this, and talking the specific case over with someone who works with issues like this on a daily basis could do you good.
The best thing you can do is see this person outside the oub, doesnt matter what you do just make sure you cant drink doing it (sport/cinema/shopping/bowling etc) . Dont go the pub with them or limit how much time you spend with them, no matter how much they pressure you too go/stay.
As for getting help, someone wont get any unless they want too. Al-anon may be a good place for you to start getting some help though.