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I need some advice please!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am in some need of serious advice. I had a breakup with a long term girlfriend about 6 months ago, which i'm over now (honest!) During the grueling months of getting over her, i got very friendly with a woman at work. I started work in my job in november last year, and i noticed this woman instantly, but it wasnt until march, after my breakup with my ex, that i had the courage to talk to her. Ever since then, we have got quite close. Over the last 2 months, i have dated a couple of women, but only lasting a few weeks each. but every time i'm dating someone, i cant stop thinking about this other woman (i will call her Kelly). The last 2 weeks i have had a break from work, but during this break, i managed to get hold of kellys number from a friend at work, and we have been texting each other daily since. Before i went on my holiday, kelly suggested coming over my house with a bottle of vodka, and havin a nite in together. i'm not sure if she was joking or not, but on friday, i took her up on her offer. she came over, as promised at about 9pm, and we had a great night in. She ended up drinking a little too much (not drunk, but unable to drive home) so i offered her my bed, which she gratefully accepted. (i slept in the spare room b4 you ask!) We were up til about 5am, chatting about random stuff, it was almost like a first date, but without the goodbye kiss at the end. The next morning, we sat drinking coffe for another couple of hours chatting, before we HAD to go off and do things.
On saturday, i confessed to her that i had strong feelings for a woman at work, who was a good friend, and i didnt know what to do or say about it. i'm almost certain she doesnt realise its her, but since i told her, she has gone a little quiet. I'm not sure if i have upset her because she has feelings for me, but thinks she has lost out, or if she realises its her, but doesnt want to upset me because she doesnt feel the same.
Basicily, we are fantastic friends, but i want more. There is deinatly a spark in me for her, but i dont know weather to tell her how i feel in case i ruin the friendship we have. Any impartial advice, or real life experiances you can tell me would greatly help, before i make the wrong choice!
Thanks
On saturday, i confessed to her that i had strong feelings for a woman at work, who was a good friend, and i didnt know what to do or say about it. i'm almost certain she doesnt realise its her, but since i told her, she has gone a little quiet. I'm not sure if i have upset her because she has feelings for me, but thinks she has lost out, or if she realises its her, but doesnt want to upset me because she doesnt feel the same.
Basicily, we are fantastic friends, but i want more. There is deinatly a spark in me for her, but i dont know weather to tell her how i feel in case i ruin the friendship we have. Any impartial advice, or real life experiances you can tell me would greatly help, before i make the wrong choice!
Thanks
0
Comments
Surely she thinks you're talking about another woman and now she's upset because she likes you? That's how I would take it if you said that to me. How is she supposed to know its her?
You should just tell her how you feel instead of talking in code. That will ruin your relationship rather than being honest with her
How on earth would she realise it was her though? If you tell her about someone at work you like then it sounds like a completely different person and you're asking her advice
How do you think i should approach her and tell her? text message? tell her at work? take her out somewhere?
And then explain that you meant you liked her in case she still thinks you're into someone else and gets annoyed about that
There is only one way around this and that is to express yourself the way you feel inside about her, in front of her. Take her out again, there will be no need to tell her you've got feelings for her just say, remeber that girl I was talking about in work, well its you. She should be flattered because by the sounds of this so far she's upset that you may like another girl.
Good Luck