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What should i do?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
i wrote in a few weeks back about my ex boyfriend who moved to london and left me. Well since then we wernt aloud to talk to each other but we did anyway and last weekend i even went to london to spend the day with him and his friends. While we were there we did kinda..Get close :blush:. he was lovely to me that day and the way we were was just like how we was when we went out it felt no different. A few weeks before we met, he told me he would wait for us both to finish school and then i would go to london to be with him. Ive told my mum and she sorta doesnt want me to but said if it'll make me happy. The thing is, hes been talking to his other ex. Hes been telling her that he loves her and stuff and ive spoken to her myself and shes not interested in him and all and hes said himself she isnt. The thing is he told me she hung herself a few years back.:eek2: :confused: then he said that was a joke.Hes still very protective of me and wont let me talk to his friends who were texting me the other day. Despite all this, i wierdly enough still want to be with him. Im going to see him again next week too. Im not sure if london would be the right thing. I want to go to a college up there but wouldnt have anywhere to live. I know this all sounds really stupid but its on my mind all the time.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I know this sounds like a really complicated situation but you can really only make a decision by thinking of YOUR feelings. People say you shouldnt be selfish, but this is one time when you should be.

    I have a friend who met someone a few years back and they then moved to birmingham, which is about 2 hours away from where he lives, I gave this same advice to him.

    She asked him to move up there with her and he kept going behind his mums back and trying to get up there, talking to her and then dumping her and going back out with her the next day.

    You have to think about what you want. At the end of the day, I know this sounds blunt. but a relationship can only serve a small amount of hapiness. You have got to do what is right for you, get your qualifications that you want (you said you want to go to a college) and then your dream job. After you have done all of that, it is time to think about getting into a serious relationship.

    I hope this helps. If you want to talk more just reply to this, I will check back every 5 mins.

    Speak Soon

    Tom xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks it does help :) but i dont know what he wants and to be honest i dont think he does either... Hes like in love with two girls :S
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What should i do?

    Sorry to hear you're having problems with your ex boyfriend. It sounds as though things are confused for both of you, especially as he's moved away.

    Its difficult as you still have feelings to separate your feelings for him and his for you. However, the fact he's talking to his ex and professing feelings for her too doesn't sound very healthy.

    You should probably try to think about what it is you want, where you want to go to college and try to put what your ex wants aside for the time being. See how things go and don't rush to move in with an ex who doesn't seem to have put you as a priority. If things are meant to be then they'll survive a long distance relationship and if not then you know that it wouldn't have worked if you'd moved down anyway.

    Moving is a really big step and if you believe he's in love with his other ex as well, there are bound to be ongoing problems. Perhaps you both need time to figure out if you want to stay together but that works both ways - he has to decide that you're the one for him also, just your side won't work.

    Your mum sounds very supportive, maybe you could talk through all this with her and get her perspective?

    Good luck with everything and please keep posting and let us know how things are going.

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