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I cant believe we've ended up like this...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what contraception are you using?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    I'm thinking its because the only place we can ever really have sex now is his car and its not exciting there because its very limited and I'll never come like that. My mum and dad are always in as are his.

    Do they go out at all? Can you bribe them to go out for the evening/afternoon so you can have some time for the two of you?

    I also second the "what contracpetives" question. My sex drive did pretty much die when I was on Cilest.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    be a bit more exciting with him,. £50 is not much for a hotel.

    do you go out, joke and have a "spark"?

    what stuff do you do together?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what contraception are you using?

    Condoms which he isnt too happy about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do they go out at all? Can you bribe them to go out for the evening/afternoon so you can have some time for the two of you?

    I also second the "what contracpetives" question. My sex drive did pretty much die when I was on Cilest.

    Nah not really. My dad would not be impressed.

    That was the pill I stopped taking about 3 months ago. Shouldnt it have come back by now?
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi Kate-

    It sounds like this issue is really stressing you out and although you said you "can't understand why" this has happened - you seem to have a fair bit of insight into why - and although these things are obstacles in the way of a happy sex life, they're not impossible to get around. :)

    Have you spoken to your boyfriend about how you've been feeling lately? Often opening up about these things - without lashing out - can enable you to face the issues together and put your heads together to come up with some solutions that get you both excited. You could perhaps put the emphasis on the fact that you still really want to have sex with him (so he knows you still want him) but you can't relax in the car and want to explore some alternatives.

    You say both sets of parents are always in. Now, we all know that 'always' doesn't literally mean 'always' ;) What is the exact situation? Adapting your sex styles to fit with your circumstances may be the key here. While you may not be able to have long drawn out sex sessions at either of your houses - I bet there are times when you could 'get it on' so to speak.

    As for the hotel, well yes, £50 is quite a lot and it's not something you'd want to do on a regular basis. But, as a treat, £25 each isn't so bad if you perhaps save for a couple of weeks. The other thing is, you could make the hotel stay an opportunity to rekindle what you've been missing and make plans for how things can get better from then on. You'll probably find it easier to discuss these things in a relaxed environment.

    As for the condoms issue...well, it's always a shame when guys get funny about condoms as they don't have to put a dampner on things, especially as there are so many different types these days. But if you are thinking about alternative contraception, I'd take a look at our articles on ditching the condoms and contraception overview.

    Hope this helps a little and let us know how you get on. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just do it when your parents are in, I always did. :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If they're in and safely watching tv downstairs.

    When they go out to the shops, when they go and drop off/pick up another sibling. Before they get home from work (just make sure you leave clothes ready).

    You don't need an empty house for an extended length of time.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    Just do it when your parents are in, I always did. :thumb:

    When we first got together we used to when people were in but I dunno the idea of it now makes me cringe.

    Ah well theyre looking for holidays at least.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In Brazil they have a lot of pay-per-hour hotels for this reason that aren't sleezy like the ones you get elsewhere, it makes sense especially as out there housing is generally over crowded and often they live at home as adults. We need those over here!

    As for the condoms thing, I've never had problems with him, it's always been me that doesn't like the feel of them much. Until this one time we had sex when I was not meant to be having sex as I had a bad kidney and I was on anti-biotics so needed to use condoms and we were on my lounge floor and he fucked me so good it was amazing, it was the best sex of my whole life and to date still is. And that was years after I 'ditched the condoms' with him, it was just a bit of a one off due to the anti-biotics. So mustn't grumble...

    Is there a place you can go to together for privacy that you haven't thought of? I used to have keys to the childrens' library at our church, we often had sex there (when it was empty, not when there were lots of kids running around and reading about Jesus).

    It's two years today since I last had sex :eek:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Public Swimming pool family changing rooms........
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    That was the pill I stopped taking about 3 months ago. Shouldnt it have come back by now?

    Mine didnt really come back when I switched to Cerazette and is finally back now on the implant.

    The pill affacts differnt people in differnt ways, most peoples sex drive does tend to be less strong when they're stressed/down.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you not find some peaceful , open places where you could go for a picnic . There must be some woods , canals , fields where you could find somewhere private ... you'd be amazed at how good the sex is when you have to be careful.
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