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girls, can you give me some sex tips please?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been seeing my gf for 5 months and having sex for twoish, we were both virgins.
I absolutely love everything we do i get tremendous amounts of pleasure from the act itself and the intimacy. The problem is i have only managed to make my gf orgasm twice in about 20 times, i know female orgasm can be hard but i feel really selfish. I'm more than willing to put lots of time or effort into it but don't really know what to do lol. Please any advice will be awesome. i should point out shes perfectly happy as we are and says she enjoys it without an orgasm and that i worry to much but i still want to be able to do it more regularly. interestingly she says sometimes she gets really close then the feeling stops, any ideas?

thanks for any help :)

Comments

  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    Hey, it sounds like you're a loving and sensitive guy and although your girlfriend insists she's happy - you're eager to please her more. It's true that female orgasm can be hard and can take patience to achieve - it sounds like you have that and are willing to go the extra mile which is great. :)

    I guess an obvious question is: does your girlfriend ever reach orgasm by herself? If she does then it might be worth encouraging her to show you how so that you can incorporate that into your shared sexual experiences.

    You say she gets really close and then the feeling stops - this isn't unusual, but doesn't necessarily mean that she won't be able to orgasm soon afterwards if you were to go back to what you were doing with a bit of a break. Also, if she's not fully relaxed then that will contribute to not being able to reach orgasm so making sure you're in a totally chilled out, comfortable place is crucial.

    Finally, trust your girlfriend when she tells you she's happy. If she starts to feel pressure then that could put a dampner on things and it is true that orgasm is just one part of the whole shared sexual experience. I'm not saying it's not important - just that it's far better when the whole experience is balanced between that and the other lovey stuff ;)

    Anyhow, you may find some of these useful:

    Clitoris confidence

    Giving her good head

    Women and sex - top ten worries

    Hope this helps. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i also want to get some ideas, any others?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Know when to be gentle and when to be rough. Girls are delicate.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try to touch her clit while you are having sex, such as if she is on top, just put your finger near it so as she moves she is rubbing it. Or try scissor position, i know alot of people who can cum from that position but not others.
    this happens to alot of people though and its not uncommon
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you are well on your way to making her cum more regularly without you changing too much. She'll eventually get used to being able to reach orgasm more easily all the time. If she feels like she comes close I'm sure you're nearly there, just keep going, quite slowly. I really think eventually it will just happen, she should try concentrating on the right feelings if she wants to orgasm.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi

    hi guys just bumping, cos its now been 8 months were still happy, and tyhe relationship is getting stronger. however her sex drive is still low, we make love once every two weeks on average. I dont mind of course im fine with whatever shes happy with, however i still cant make her orgasm, its so frustrating cos i did twice early on in the relationship. It makes me feel shit because i really want to do everything for her, even though she says she doesnt mind, and i cant help linking the low sex drive and lack of orgasm together to make me think im bad in bed. weve tried toys but they didnt help! another thing, shes become more sensative, i can barely touch her when were making out without her flinching and saying it tickles, even kissing her neck which used to turn her on massively now provokes the same reaction. im sorry to bitch on but i really dont want our sex life to damage our relationship, can anyone help?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bump
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's no set regime that leads straight to orgasm.

    Every girl is a different every girl has her own needs.

    Just a thought though, you say that you're perfectly happy with the intimacy. That's cool. But sometimes girls don't want intimacy, they just want a rough hard fuck with the cuddles saved for later.

    I don't know whether it's because I'm lousy when it comes to intimacy, but I've always felt much more confident pushing girls over the edge by being rough and dominant.

    She might be your precious girlfriend and you might enjoy "making love", but I think it's healthy to get a little greedy in the bedroom sometimes and call the shots.

    If she feels like she's being watched and under pressure to show that she's enjoying it, she'll always have that nagging thought in the back of her mind.

    It's how orgasms get faked.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tehfincheh wrote: »
    There's no set regime that leads straight to orgasm.

    Every girl is a different every girl has her own needs.

    Just a thought though, you say that you're perfectly happy with the intimacy. That's cool. But sometimes girls don't want intimacy, they just want a rough hard fuck with the cuddles saved for later.

    I don't know whether it's because I'm lousy when it comes to intimacy, but I've always felt much more confident pushing girls over the edge by being rough and dominant.

    She might be your precious girlfriend and you might enjoy "making love", but I think it's healthy to get a little greedy in the bedroom sometimes and call the shots.

    If she feels like she's being watched and under pressure to show that she's enjoying it, she'll always have that nagging thought in the back of her mind.

    It's how orgasms get faked.


    :yes: well said. im in total agreeance
    nothing worse than being put under pressure/being watched. just wont happen
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go fast and hard..... it's intense and sooo good!! make sure you both lube up though so it's not painful for you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does her orgasm have to come through penetration every time? My GF has her best orgasms after we have spent hours kissing and stroking on the sofa, we have ended up in the bedroom, lost our clothes, spent a while longer kissing, holding, stroking enjoying intimacy etc and by then I can give her an intense orgasm with my fingers in no time at all while we are kissing passionately or I may take her there with a bit of oral.

    Making her cum before even thinking about penetration takes away the pressure so it can be enjoyed as any extra orgasms you can give her through penetration are a bonus, although by this point I too am well steamed up so can be done quick if im not careful as i've been highly turned on for hours at that point but if thats the case its a quick recovery and the really good penetration comes next and I can go as long as she needs to finish again at least once more. Sometimes a good quick fuck is all thats needed to get both people off but slowing it down makes for a very nice evening or cheeky daytime bunk up if you have hours to spare.
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