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Why do I get so pissed off over things that might not be?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
So sometimes I get really upset and angry over nothing and I act like a total dick.
I don't really know how to put this into words, like I think I want everything to be perfect all the time with my girlfriend, and when there's a possibility that thing's won't be, my paranoia plays on this and I think about it too much, resulting in me getting really upset and angry. Then I bottle this up, I can't talk to my girlfriend about it, I just act really off with her, then I'll suddenly let it all out and say stuff that I really don't mean, in some pathetic attempt to upset her and get back at her for something she probably hasn't even done yet. Then as soon I've said it, I realise what a dick I've just been. It's like a rage that comes over me and I just say things I really shouldn't say.
I've been like this for a while and I don't really know what my problem is? I always think the worst about things, maybe this mixed with my paranoia and bad temper is what brings it out?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is no point obsessing about something that may happen or may not but you need to learn how to manage your bad temper. One thing is to try and keep your stress and tension levels down and find out the root cause of what triggers your bad tempter that spills over into anger that in turn pisses you off before you get to envisaging your situation.

    Best,
    Poppi
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've found that things like that can occasionally buug me now and again. There's isn't really an easy solution to it, especially if it's such a deap seated thing, but all I find I an do is try and take my mind off it.

    If I find myself feeling like that about my partner or something, usually I just phone one of my mates up really. Anything that sort of gets me out of my pit of worry and anger I guess.

    Really, it's normal to want everything to be 'perfect', I think like that sometimes, but the reality is, that's arely the case, obviously.

    Also, you bottle things up and then suddenly have an outburst? I've been like that before, someties I guess out of fear that I'lll be ridiculed or shouted down if I try and get my thoughts across to my significant other.

    Do you really feel as though you can talk to her about anything?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Distractions are good. My boyfriend is shit when it comes to keeping in contact sometimes and has a really weird work schedule. If I get the urge to ring/text or work something into my head to have an arguement about I just think about all the good things he has done for me and all the fun we have together. Apparently when I piss him off he just looks at this goofy video he filmed of me on his phone (when I thought he was just taking a photo) and watches it...then because I look like such a div I guess in the video..He isn't mad at me. I dont know if this would work for you? Maybe just a reminder when you get angry that she isn't all that bad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    try writing down what youre feeling - ive really found that helps. I tend to bottle things up and they just intensify and get worse in my head than they are in real life but when i write them down i can let them go a bit and go over them when i feel calmer. Its hard to write down your feelings at first and i have to do it in a little notebook that i can lock but it really has helped me. Hope that helps and all the best x
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