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1/4 life crisis???
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi:wave:
I've been in a rut with myself, and cant manage to get out of it.
This has been going on for years, since drug abuse, depression, prescription drugs, and doing a degree course for 5 years while not living the university life I should have.:banghead:
I'm glad I've found this place, cos it will give me a portal to express my angst, and read other threads.
I am in my mid 20's and suppose I have a 1/4 life crisis, that has gone on for too long. I remember being in my mid teens and wondering how the hell I was going to manage to grow up and be an adult, the switch seemed impossible and I could never imagine reaching the age I am now.
The time has come when I need to do something.........now I am a graduate, unemployed, live with my mum, no social life, my few friends have went over seas to work, and I'm desperate to start living the dream.
I think my life will get better when I get a job, and I will be glad to have anything at this stage - but ideally i want a good job,( interview rejections are becoming unbearable) and from that I imagine will stem new friends. At the moment I find it difficult to make new friends, although some of the info on this site is good.
I suppose I just need to find a job. Is this the answer?
thanks for reading, and digesting a short story of a sad guy living amongst you.
deepat
I've been in a rut with myself, and cant manage to get out of it.
This has been going on for years, since drug abuse, depression, prescription drugs, and doing a degree course for 5 years while not living the university life I should have.:banghead:
I'm glad I've found this place, cos it will give me a portal to express my angst, and read other threads.
I am in my mid 20's and suppose I have a 1/4 life crisis, that has gone on for too long. I remember being in my mid teens and wondering how the hell I was going to manage to grow up and be an adult, the switch seemed impossible and I could never imagine reaching the age I am now.
The time has come when I need to do something.........now I am a graduate, unemployed, live with my mum, no social life, my few friends have went over seas to work, and I'm desperate to start living the dream.
I think my life will get better when I get a job, and I will be glad to have anything at this stage - but ideally i want a good job,( interview rejections are becoming unbearable) and from that I imagine will stem new friends. At the moment I find it difficult to make new friends, although some of the info on this site is good.
I suppose I just need to find a job. Is this the answer?
thanks for reading, and digesting a short story of a sad guy living amongst you.
deepat
0
Comments
What do you mean you haven't lived the University life you should? There isn't _really_ any "right" way to live a uni life if you ask me. While I do think most students live in halls, party and socialise a lot, many students live a bit further from the University and some even study remotely totaly relying on phone and the internet to get the information they need. Everyone's different.
Also, it's not really too late to get involved in some student associations or something like that, if that's what you feel you've been missing out on. I'm sure some of them have some former students as well, at least that has been the case for me up here in Norway. (I used to be a representative of a faculty student organization, and many of the members were not students anymore, some had even never been.)
Or, why not looking into joining some alumni group for your particular area of study? Both student organizations and alumni groups can be great for making new aquaintances/frriends and potential job contacts.
Yes, it seemst to me that a job is what's going to help. Sorry to hear about your interview rejections, but this is the situation for many without experience, no matter their formal quallifications. But remember it's always hardest in the beginning, as you get a job and more and more experience the easier it will be. I do think many young people/students rely way too much on formal qualifications today. Of course it's good to be well educated, but that doesn't necessarily cut it. There have been an inflation in people taking higher education, and employers have to look for something to distinguish from the masses.
I'd look into i.e. volunteering within your area of expertise, for example. Send a CV to your friends dad if he's a manager in your strand. Attend job summits and company presentations, that way you often get to talk to the people that already work there about your qualifications, which can have a great impact if you decide to apply, as they will already know your face and something about you. No matter whether people like it or think it's fair or not, building networks and applying a good "face factor" is going to give you an advantage. Many people (managers) are still impressed by persons that doesn't rely solely on sending in an application and hoping for the best but are proactive and show that they got "the drive".
You're writing that you want a good job. Of course try to get the best you can, but don't hesitate to start a bit lower if you have to. Entry positions is a good start, and many companies prefer to recruit internally for better positions before they start the (often) expensive procedure of resorting to the general employee market. And it's often easier to apply for other jobs as well, as it will look better to have a job over being unemployed
I can only agree with what T-Kay's said here about finding a job and making new friends. A lot of people go through a period of confusion and frustration in their twenties, especially as they go through major life changes such as finishing university and growing apart from former friends.
You've said, "I suppose I just need to find a job. Is this the answer?" This is probably one of those cases were one answer doesn't fit all. For some people, finding a job can be the route to personal fulfillment and making new friends. However, as T-Kay says, it's not easy to find your perfect job straight away, so you might want to look at what you can do outside of work to get you out of the rut you feel you're in.
Again, there's no one perfect solution here, but you might want to think about the things you're interested in or the things you've always wanted to do. Whether it's getting involved in a team sport or learning a foreign language, there's a good chance you could find a group of people who are interested in a similar field online or in your local papers. You also might want to visit do-it.org.uk and type in your postcode. Finding a volunteering opportunity that inspires you - even if it's not related to what you've studied - might also give you a way forward.
Again, as T-Kay has said, if you feel that it's drug abuse or depression that is preventing you living the life that you want to, then you might want to speak about this further with a doctor or other health professional.
Good to hear you found the information on TheSite.org helpful, deepat. Feel free to post here as much as you need to, or if you've got specific career questions, you might want to try askTheSite.
Take care.
I remember reading somewhere on the site that 'you should make a list of things that interest you, however small, and aim to do one of these things everyday' I'm up for this, and need to get a file-pad.........been pondering joining my local football team, but I keep imagining how daunting this would be
thanks again guys, you've kinda reassured me that its up to me.
deepat
You should stop placing hope on material things making you feel better. It won't happen. You have to find what makes you happy on your own. Dig deep and ask yourself "what do i really want?".