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Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Basically money (or the lack of) has always been a really contentious issue between me and my boyfriend. Now my nan is going back to Ireland for a week for a family reunion and being old is taking my sister and myself with her. I don't really mind but it will be quite boring as me and my sister (who's not old enough to drink :-() will be the only youngsters amongst 60+ year olds!
Now my boyfriend from the very beginning has promised to go on holiday with me, yet because he lost his job (and I'm a student) we've never ever managed to go. Yet now his rugby club (which he's only just joined) is planning a tour of Prague and he's gone and started telling me that because I'm going to Ireland its fine for him to go to Prague. This pissed me off especially because he said it in front of my mum (who I obviously haven't told about the promises about holidays, or me not actually wanting to go to Ireland) and so I couldn't really raise my opinion against it.
I'm really trying not to be selfish but we all knows what happens when guys go on holiday and drink-they nearly all cheat no matter how much they 'love' their girlfriends. And we've had problems with girls interfering in our relationship before and him not realising the obvious. So yeah on that count I'm a bit para. But also am I wrong to feel upset that he's so keen on this holiday yet never shown any interest in our plans, or even regretful/upset they don't happen? And also he has NO money (literally over a grand overdrawn), works as a barman and barely has money to pay me back or even take us out-yet hes emailing the rugby club asking about prices for the trip??? I'm also overdrawn, had to turn down going on holiday with my mates, can't afford to go out half the time and my mums paid for the Ireland trip yet I know I'd put a holiday between us before any of the other options if I could.
Am I wrong to feel a bit pissed off about this act? How to I go about confronting it?
Now my boyfriend from the very beginning has promised to go on holiday with me, yet because he lost his job (and I'm a student) we've never ever managed to go. Yet now his rugby club (which he's only just joined) is planning a tour of Prague and he's gone and started telling me that because I'm going to Ireland its fine for him to go to Prague. This pissed me off especially because he said it in front of my mum (who I obviously haven't told about the promises about holidays, or me not actually wanting to go to Ireland) and so I couldn't really raise my opinion against it.
I'm really trying not to be selfish but we all knows what happens when guys go on holiday and drink-they nearly all cheat no matter how much they 'love' their girlfriends. And we've had problems with girls interfering in our relationship before and him not realising the obvious. So yeah on that count I'm a bit para. But also am I wrong to feel upset that he's so keen on this holiday yet never shown any interest in our plans, or even regretful/upset they don't happen? And also he has NO money (literally over a grand overdrawn), works as a barman and barely has money to pay me back or even take us out-yet hes emailing the rugby club asking about prices for the trip??? I'm also overdrawn, had to turn down going on holiday with my mates, can't afford to go out half the time and my mums paid for the Ireland trip yet I know I'd put a holiday between us before any of the other options if I could.
Am I wrong to feel a bit pissed off about this act? How to I go about confronting it?
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Comments
I go on hoilday with my mates all the time and havent ever cheated on my gf
On the flip side, if he owes you money, then he should pay you back first before considering a holiday full stop.
Bare in mind that that you going on and being convinced he's going to cheat on you would probably make him more likely to.. "well she thinks i am anyway so i might as well.."
But that said assuming that hes going to cheat because hes going off with the lads to get drunk is a bit daft, have more faith in your relationship!
Yes. Stop trying to control him, you'll only make him resent you. He clearly wants to go away with the lads, so he will.
Your comment about nearly all lads cheat when drunk is the most ignorant thing ive ever read. grow up.
it was clearly written in an emotional and pissed off state. it was a massive genearlisation I know, but at that time that's where my head was at! My point was more that when guys get together, go abroad, drink lots some of them can be more inclined to cheat than they would be at home, especially as its unlikely the girlfriend probably won't find out. Like if one reads problem pages etc the majority of the cases of cheating is when one or the other is on holiday (i.e. when the cats away...) so that was more my point, rather than all men cheat. Especially as me and him have had situations when he's gotten too close to other girls when I've been away at uni, I think I've got justifiable reason to be a bit worried.
And bossa, its not controlling to want your boyfriend to put you first! He barely knows these rugby guys and its quite insulting that he's putting more interest in going off with them rather than me!
Girls do it too! Girls weekends etc. to have a bit of fun and be their own person rather than part of the couple (that does not mean cheating though!).
I can see why you might be annoyed but I think you need to let him have a bit of independence especially if he's only in his early 20s...
Though I would be a bit peeved if he could find the money to go on holiday but not pay back any debts he owes to you.
thanks for the reply
Plus its not like I'm banging on about us going on holiday together, its him that always goes 'where are we going on holiday? when are we going away? do you want to go greece/spain/france?' etc but yet it comes to nothing. Yet now theres a chance to go to on a rugby tour to Poland with guys he's literally known a month and its like money or his promises are no object! He's gone on two holidays with his mates since we've started going out (before he got into debt) which I had no problem with-it's me whose not been on holiday for over a year with or without him!
ah it's just really frustrating because I don't know how to approach it with him without sounding like I'm throwing the debt thing back in his face :banghead: