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Watching your parents get old

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
saw something today which scared the living daylights out of me ..

My dad went shopping brought back some garden stuff - looked out the window to see him carrying some sort of bag - from the way he was struggling to carry it I thought it was a bag of cement - saw him drop it twice so ran down to help him.

When I got down ...I saw it was actually compost for the garden and there was one bag left to carry to the end of the garden so I started to pick it up expecting it to be really heavy - but to my shock it wasn't heavy at all - I could have probably carried it with one hand if I wanted to ..

I can remember the days when he could lift a car engine all by himself - now it's so sad to see him getting old .. :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what you mean, i am seeing my parents get old and they just narrate everything they do, even if it's just them in the room...and sigh and moan all the time... little things like that. bleh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, I've had this situation on my plate for about a good 6months now. Horrrrrrrrrrrible. You always want to keep them on that pedestal. Sigh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It scares me so much! I always joke to my mum that she better not die because I don't want to be an orphan but I think it's true. No real big signs yet but I know I will fret when there are any.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, specially my Mam.

    I'm so scared of her dying even though I'm quite paranoid about it. She's got high blood pressure and stuff, I get paranoid that she's having too much salt in her food, gets too stressed with stuff etc.

    It's really stupid but it's always there in the back of my mind.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My dad got pretty weak I guess but he always covered it u. When you see someone who used to pick you up with one arm get out of breath walking up the stairs it's pretty harrowing though :( (although I don't konw how much of that was down to smoking for 40 years).

    Mum is still fighting fit though, I mean she gets a bad back but everyone over 15 complains about having a bad back. I'll lift heavy things for her but she has no bones about working in the garden all day.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was pondering on this the other day after really noticing how old mum and dad are getting as they both used to be so big and hardy and now mum can't even walk round the hills with the dog because she's so achy. It does leave you with an empty feeling but i'm just careful not to dwell too much on it, i think it can take over the way you think if you're not careful, i mean get you down and make you worry too much. I realised when i was 20 when mum had a tumour on her kidney that parents aren't immortal. It was a pretty rude awakening and turned me into a better daughter (i hope). I think i always worry about dad as he's diabetic and the older he gets the more problems he gets with it. I think you just want to be able to take away their pain but yet you can't and it makes you feel helpless. :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my mum still goes on 20 mile walks but my dad potters around like a snail now :( sad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is really sad, my mum's just taken early retirement last year and she's slowed down a lot since she's been at home. Just all her movements and thought processes are slower, and she forgets simple things. Nothing drastic, just getting gradually worse than what she was like before. She also narrates what she does, like someone has said, such as 'I'm just popping into the garden', 'I'm just going to read a magazine', 'I'm just going to make a phone call'. At the same time she's had a couple of eye operations, so her face looks older now too!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know where you come from. My parents are getting old too (d'oh) and I notice even tho I see them every day. More wrinkles, my dad gets gray hair.

    Your post made me a bit sad :/
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My parents have been seriously talking about retirement recently and it did make me realise how old they are. Especially my dad, he'll be in his mid 60's before I realise it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My dad just retired back to the UK, and although I knew how old he was, I didn't *know* if that makes sense. What's worse is that I'm feeling awful for thinking that my little sister will probably be without a daddy by the time she's in her 20's (she's only 6 now, and my dad is not exactly the picture of health), but it's the truth. Ah it makes me sad :(.
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