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heard some home truths last night...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Last nigth i went back to a mates house, with a whole bunch of us. Had a really good time, and was really glad that i was invited.
i kind of went into shock when i saw my ex. I don't think its that i'm scared of him, but deep down i might be a little, but i really didn't need it, because it just brought up a whole load of stuff for me, and i just don't feel comfortable about being in the same room as someone that makes me feel like shit. So, when i got back to my mates place, i was shaking, my tummy was going mad, and it took about 2 hours to sort it. But what really helped was talking to two of the girls -one of them being the mate that invited me, and they both said the same thing: I sell myself cheap, i seem to end up with other peoples cast offs and i deserve so much better. I thought about this, and they are right, but it seems really difficult to rebuild myself in order to actually put this into action and stop people taking advantage and walking all over me.
So, what can i do? I think this is really important for so many aspects of my life, to rebuild my self esteem, to actually feel like i can not only survive on my own two feet, but live and love my life rather than feel like i'm constantly being on the edge between breakdowns. My mum wants me to go home to spain/italy, and be looked after for a month, so i can get better in mind body and spirit, but I'm not sure that i can go for that long and i'm wondering if that will work or not. I have a real complex about letting my mum look after me because i had to look after her for so many years with ME, now i've been free from the nest for 4 years and she in some sort of remission, she wants to get me better. and i know she could help me in the right direction, but it seems all a bit too much...
help? ideas? anything would be good. Thanks
i kind of went into shock when i saw my ex. I don't think its that i'm scared of him, but deep down i might be a little, but i really didn't need it, because it just brought up a whole load of stuff for me, and i just don't feel comfortable about being in the same room as someone that makes me feel like shit. So, when i got back to my mates place, i was shaking, my tummy was going mad, and it took about 2 hours to sort it. But what really helped was talking to two of the girls -one of them being the mate that invited me, and they both said the same thing: I sell myself cheap, i seem to end up with other peoples cast offs and i deserve so much better. I thought about this, and they are right, but it seems really difficult to rebuild myself in order to actually put this into action and stop people taking advantage and walking all over me.
So, what can i do? I think this is really important for so many aspects of my life, to rebuild my self esteem, to actually feel like i can not only survive on my own two feet, but live and love my life rather than feel like i'm constantly being on the edge between breakdowns. My mum wants me to go home to spain/italy, and be looked after for a month, so i can get better in mind body and spirit, but I'm not sure that i can go for that long and i'm wondering if that will work or not. I have a real complex about letting my mum look after me because i had to look after her for so many years with ME, now i've been free from the nest for 4 years and she in some sort of remission, she wants to get me better. and i know she could help me in the right direction, but it seems all a bit too much...
help? ideas? anything would be good. Thanks
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Comments
Self-esteem is a tricky thing, especially when one of your aims is to stop people 'walking all over' you. Sounds like you have some pretty good friends, and sometimes standing up for yourself is easier when you have some back-up (just from my experience). Not necessarily physical back-up at the time, but the knowledge that you have people who care and have your back. With men it can be quite easy to settle for second best, but everyone deserves to be treated well, and if a man doesn't, then he doesn't deserve you!
Hope you feel better.