Such a mess!

I was in a relationship with my ex for 8 years, the last 3 of which were unhappy and I felt like the last person he wanted to spend time with. We have recently split up and I have met someone else. Well, technically, I have known this guy for years and we get on like a house on fire. He is everything my ex wasn't and I have fallen for him big time. Whilst I was with my ex, at the end of our relationship I cheated on him with this bloke but we vowed to stop seeing each other because it was getting difficult. Now, however, we have seen each other a number of times....been on dates.....just spent time together doing normal stuff like cleaning and I love being in his company. He has the same personality and totally compliments me, allowing me to be who I am instead of being told I am embarrassing!

Now here comes the nightmare(s). He is friendly with my ex although its just through me that they see each other. And to add to it, he is still married and living with his ex-wife (they have been separated for some time now but continue to live together for the sake of their kids) who happens to be my friend (through him).

I don't want to end it with him and we've aggonised over what to do but we have always come back to the fact that we love each other and understand each other! I would do anything for him and have even said that I would be willing to end it so we don't have to go through the stress of telling everyone and hurting people - he has more to lose than me in my eyes. He doesn't want that and I certainly don't! I can't imagine being with someone else now! I really don't know whether possibly hurting a few people is worth it all in the long term. I know his ex will be hurt because she will realise it has been going on whilst they were living together but she has also been seeing someone whilst they have been separated!

Please could someone let me know if this has happened to them and what they have done in this situation - do I go with love (and someone I can see me spending the rest of my life with) or avoid hurting my ex, his ex and some friends but be miserable :banghead: .

Thanks in advance.
xx