Finding 14yo sister's pregnancy testing kit

Former Member · May 2008

Basically I was looking through my 14 year old sister's drawers earlier today for some of my make up (which she is always "borrowing") and I found a pregnancy testing kit which wasn't there before. She has just started a relationship with another 14 year old boy and they see each other every day, I can accept they may be sleeping together and I've given her loads of condoms to be on the safe side.

We're quite open with one another and have had lots of chats about condoms and the pill but I'm nonetheless really worried about her. She has a very "don't give a shit" attitude about a lot of things and I think some of her friends are a really bad influence. One of them who is 13 had an abortion a couple of months ago and I'm just really freaked out in case the same situation arises with her. A lot of her friends will also lie to their parents and go and sleep the night in local parks as a group, getting pissed and some of them have ended up getting taken away in ambulances and stuff (all at 14!!).

Generally I'm quite open minded about stuff as I know what I was doing at her age, however it seriously worries me if she is doing pregnancy tests and it doesn't strike me that she has much common sense/awareness of potential dangers; she is a lot more rebellious than I/anyone I knew was at that age.

I really don't know whether I should mention it to my mum; I don't live at home anymore so on the one hand I think it would be good if my mum was aware of it, on the other, I don't want to freak her out as there is a chance the test could have been for someone else. Also don't know if I should say anything to my sis, I wouldn't tell her I've found it and funnily enough we were talking about contraception and her friend having the abortion a couple of nights ago. I just feel like shaking her and screaming - why is there a pregnancy test in your room!! - but of course I wouldn't!

Basically any thoughts/suggestions/advice would be good 'cos I just want to do the best for my sister and my mind just keeps coming back to it.

Former Member · May 2008

You doing the right thing though, giving her condoms, talking honestly to her about contraception etc. Maybe ask her how things are going with her realtionship, does she have worries or pressure to have sex etc? You have to bring it up and in a way that nots going to make her suspucious or not want to talk you about things and if you are still worried then speak to your mum.

Former Member · May 2008

I'd be a little bit careful about going to your mum behind your sister.

It sounds like you and she have a pretty good relationship and can talk about these things, if she's not like that with her mum (which few 14 yr olds are) then you run the slight risk of ending up with her not talking to either of you about it which would be a shame.

Are you likely to get the chance to talk to her about it? It may well be that she's doing everything right and being good and wise yet panicked. I know I've done it, and I'm sure most do at some point. Can't remember when you're due on and start winding yourself up despite the fact you know you've used contraception.

Former Member · May 2008

I'd just suggest being carefull about going to your mum, some parents can be a bit "bull at a gate" when they think thir "baby" might be in danger, the lack of tact or diplomacy could only serve to make things worse, also your sister would know you told your mum and may consider it a breach of trust, meaning she may not confide in you anymore leaving you in the dark about what she's up to,

its her life you cant take the wheel from her, its better to sit in the passenger seat and suggest directions than to be left standing on the pavement while she goes tearing off on her own :yes:

Former Member · May 2008

Aw, ain't you lovely, be my big sis? lol

Ask her if she's pregnant, any chance she could be. If so, deal with that, if not talk to her about steps so that doesn't happen. Condoms are all well and good but not if you're inexperienced, naive, drunk, under pressure. Maybe find out if she's up for hormonal contraception as well, like injection or implant which are less user reliant and hold her hand at a family planning appointment.

Your mum might know more than you think. I don't know whether you should outright tell her but, if anything goes wrong it'll most likely be your mum left to sort out any consequences so I'd be tempted to sound her out and then give a few hints if she seems completely oblivious.

Former Member · May 2008

^^^
what she said

Former Member · May 2008

Thanks for the replies guys. My mum is quite realistic about the situation and knows there is a chance they are sleeping together; we've talked about it and she is quite good about things, however she doesn't know the half of it with regards to what else goes on in my sister's group of friends etc.

I think I might talk about it with my mum next time I speak to her, probably not tell her what I've found but just say I'm worried about the chance of my sister getting pregnant and maybe get her to ask my sister if she wants to go on the pill or something. As I say I know my mum is quite tactful/non confrontational and realistic about things so maybe that will help; I don't see my sister taking herself to the docs or family planning clinic to get the pill but perhaps if my mum offers to take her she will.

Other than that I guess all I can do is talk to my sister and hope that she is being sensible, and that if anything goes wrong she will tell me rather than having to go through it on her own.

Finding 14yo sister's pregnancy testing kit

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