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Advice Wanted Re. Online Meet-Up

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Good lord, I haven't been to this site for FOUR YEARS, damnit! And I'm not entirely sure what's sucked me back, but I'm after a bit of advice...

Long story short...

My house-mate and I made profiles for ourselves on a dating website. Was just for a bit of a laugh, we weren't taking it too seriously; but, ironically enough, I met someone on there.

Great guy, we've known each other a few weeks, have spoken every day on the phone for the last fortnight or so, loads in common, seem to get along great so far... and I'm meeting him in person for the first time tomorrow.

I've done this before - don't get me wrong, I'm not one of the naive types who's going to get myself into a pickle - but I'm just really after some support and advice. My two most serious relationships (one for three years, another we lived together for 12 months) were first born on the Internet. I know how this stuff works.

Thing is, I'm really quite ridiculously keen on this guy. And as much as I'm a fairly confident person, and not in the least bit shy, for some reason I've found myself particularly nervous on this occasion. My palms are already sweating and I'm not getting onto a train for another 18hrs or so...

Does anyone have any experience or tips on the subject they would be willing to share? It's not so much a case of "Am I meeting him in a safe enough place?", or "Will my friends be around to save me in case he's a weirdo"... I'm more concerned about making a good first impression. Any support is very much appreciated... think I just need help getting through the next twenty-four hours...

Sorry if this post has been a bit cryptic, or short of information. I'm not going to babble on. But eeek! Heeeelp!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi, I'm not an experienced "webdater", but have tried it, so I know how you feel about being excited and perhaps a tad nervous too, pretty normal after building up excitement online and on phone :) Once actually meeting, I've found that you actually calm down a bit, and are able to be yourself without the tomatoe look :P

    You mentioned that you're quite unshy and confident, depending on the guy it might be wise to not "overrun" him in the beginning. Allow him to make an impression too. (Of course, don't pull it too far, that could be interpreted as you're not interested).

    I'd also go to a place where you can speak without shouting, so I'd pick somewhere without too much loud music on. If you're on the same wavelength, you can always go clubbing later on. I'd certainly not recommend going to the pictures the first time you meet, tried that, u don't really get the chance to speak that way.

    Just my two cents in the evening.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww, thank you. That's put my mind at ease a bit more. :)

    We certainly wont be going to the cinema or to a club straight away, I agree with you wholeheartedly on that one! Nothing worse than not being able to talk to someone you're trying to get to know. Kind of defeats the object, doesn't it?

    You've given some very sound advice - thank you. As much as I'm confident, I'm also not one to over-power and am just as keen to get to know him as I hope he is to get to know me. And you're right... I think (hope) I'll be alright when I get there, it's probably just nervous apprehension.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, once I suggested cinema on a first date, probably one of my cardinal mistakes in dating :P...it's hooorrrible.

    If you feel the not so fun "void of conversation" after a while, try some bowling or something like that. This way you can be doing something while talking too.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just be careful and do go anywhere or do anything you are not comfortable with and be sure someone else knows where you are going and check in with them to let them know you are ok. Take into consideration though talking to people online and even over the phone can be one thing and when you meet in person they can totally different to how they seemed. You could be very disappointed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jonny8888 wrote: »
    Just be careful and do go anywhere or do anything you are not comfortable with and be sure someone else knows where you are going and check in with them to let them know you are ok. Take into consideration though talking to people online and even over the phone can be one thing and when you meet in person they can totally different to how they seemed. You could be very disappointed.

    Entirely true, Jonny, and I appreciate your comment. I'm quite good at deciphering a character online, although am not silly enough to think that I can't make mistakes. I've planned this all through thoroughly and know what I'm doing, and will ensure I'm safe at all times. Can never be too careful in these situations, can you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bohemian wrote: »
    Entirely true, Jonny, and I appreciate your comment. I'm quite good at deciphering a character online, although am not silly enough to think that I can't make mistakes. I've planned this all through thoroughly and know what I'm doing, and will ensure I'm safe at all times. Can never be too careful in these situations, can you.

    rather.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    make sure there isn't spinach or a piece of lettuce sticking inbetween your teeth. For the rest: just be yourself. Stupid overused phrase, but you know the deal. Not like you're doing it for the first time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I happen to think spinach in the teeth adds character... ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bohemian wrote: »
    I happen to think spinach in the teeth adds character... ;)

    That's actually right. It shows you eat healthy, that you are not vain (checking every millimeter of your face in a mirror before you go out), and that you can leave some food for your partner as well (sharing! empathic thinking).

    make sure to eat spinach beforehand...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    That's actually right. It shows you eat healthy, that you are not vain (checking every millimeter of your face in a mirror before you go out), and that you can leave some food for your partner as well (sharing! empathic thinking).

    make sure to eat spinach beforehand...

    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good Impression

    Make eye contact, show some interest in him, don't talk about ex boyfriends or emotional baggage, don't make any negative remarks about anything, wear
    colours that flatter you, remember normally men are hunters so you may need to play hard to get.
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