Things needed/apreciated after an abortion

Former Member · February 2008

She needs nothing really.

Just for you to be there, not push and don't tell her what to do.

Don't tell her what she should be feeling. Don't tell her how to deal with how she's feeling. Don't tell her anything.

Let her talk, and agree with everything she is saying; there is no right and wrong way and when people start to tell you you are dealing with it in the wrong way it is just shit because you feel shit enough without people telling you you are doing YET another thing wrong.

I would also suggest you suggest she writes a list of the reasons to WHY she has chosen to do what she has. Keep them safe; when she starts regretting it she can read back over them and arealise what she has done is right.

Also, help her reach some kind of closure. A few days / a week after start promting her of how she is going to say goodbye if she feels like she needs to. I know that if I didn't say goodbye how I did I don't think I could have made it to this day feeling how I do without being drowned by the guilt I was feeling. Help her come to some kind of an ending between her and the baby.

Former Member · February 2008

*Ashlee* wrote: »

She needs nothing really.

Just for you to be there, not push and don't tell her what to do.

Don't tell her what she should be feeling. Don't tell her how to deal with how she's feeling. Don't tell her anything.

Let her talk, and agree with everything she is saying; there is no right and wrong way and when people start to tell you you are dealing with it in the wrong way it is just shit because you feel shit enough without people telling you you are doing YET another thing wrong.

I would also suggest you suggest she writes a list of the reasons to WHY she has chosen to do what she has. Keep them safe; when she starts regretting it she can read back over them and arealise what she has done is right.

Also, help her reach some kind of closure. A few days / a week after start promting her of how she is going to say goodbye if she feels like she needs to. I know that if I didn't say goodbye how I did I don't think I could have made it to this day feeling how I do without being drowned by the guilt I was feeling. Help her come to some kind of an ending between her and the baby.

Thanks hun *hugs*

Former Member · February 2008

Materialistically

if your at the hospital with her - mags, music, TISSUES (soft one not horrible hospital ones).

Then plenty of chocolate after.

Former Member · February 2008

*Ashlee* wrote: »

Materialistically

if your at the hospital with her - mags, music, TISSUES (soft one not horrible hospital ones).

Then plenty of chocolate after.

Thank you anything else? For when she gets home? Herbal tea?
God I feel so useless

Former Member · February 2008

I'da smacked ya if you'd given me herbal tea.

Personally, no nothing else, apart from the obvious pads for the bleeding.

You will feel useless 'cos you are useless! Nothing you can do 'part from be there.

Former Member · February 2008

Thanks

Former Member · February 2008

also , something that they didn't tell me which i so wish they had was that it can take a few weeks for your hormone levels to get back to normal. i had the usual bleed after the proceedure then didn't get my following period until 6 or 7 weeks after. Except no-one had mentioned this to me so i took another test and got a positive result which scared the life out of me.

the leaflets i got said something about your five fruit and veg a day can help speed up the healing process, so maybe get some fave fruits in as well as chocolate, soft tissues and giving lots of cuddles.

Things needed/apreciated after an abortion

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