If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
I feel like Ive lost my best friend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How do you cope with finding out one of your best friends doesnt seem to care about you anymore? I lost my sister 4 years ago on valentines day and I'm finding things really hard at the moment. I live with a girl I've known since I was 8, we've always been really close but now no matter how much I try asking for help she doesnt seem to pay any attention, I've asked her so many times to come watch films with me or go out somewhere or even just have dinner together and everytime her answer is always "I dont feel like it" she doesnt seem to realise that actually im asking her because i need her right now to help me through this. I dont really know what to do I feel so down at the moment anyway now it feels worse because I feel like ive lost my best friend as well as my sister. Maybe its unfair of me to expect her to spend time with me just because I feel down i dont know I just miss her which is stupid as she lives in the next room.
0
Comments
The only thing you can do is talk to you friend about how you are feeling. It sounds to me like she doesn't realise at all that you are feeling this way and perhaps isn't even thinking that this time of year is going to be difficult for you. I think if she knew that you were feeling alone and just needed to spend time with someone and get out and do things then she would support you 100%, but as it is she probably thinks you're just casually inviting her out and since you're so close is just being honest that she doesn't fancy it because she doesn't know it is important to you.
I think if you were to sit down with her and really tell her about how you're feeling then she would make more effort to be there for you and spend time with you (and if she wasn't prepared to do that then you would be right to question the friendship). Sometimes we just get wrapped up in our own lives and forget what our friends might be going through and she might not pick up on it unless you tell her explicitly.
I hope things get better for you soon, do you have any other friends or relatives you could maybe chat to about stuff or spend time with?
Second of all, I agree with FireFly85--talk to your friend. She probably has no idea, and even if she does, you'll never know until you talk to her. I often get into the same situation, and feel like I can't let anyone know about how I feel, which is silly of me. Don't do the same thing. And the only way you can move on, if you have indeed lost your best friend, is to talk. If not to her, then to someone else you trust. But first, tell her how you feel.
Good luck! :thumb:
Maybe you should speak to her and see how she is, something might be bothering her. Sit down with a few drinks and a takeaway or something and have a chat to try and sort it out.
People change and all relationships have a shelf life if that makes sense? Like sometimes some people are only suited to certain phases in your life. You might find you've both grown appart or she might not understand what you're going through and your worries.
Hope it goes okay
:yes:
i think there are three possible reasons for this problem:
1) she doesn't know how to deal with what you are going through so does nothing rather than risking upsetting you
2) she has some problem of her own going on and needs to concentrate on that
3) she genuinely doesn't realise how much you need a friend. it's difficult sometimes if we haven't been in a situation ourselves to understand how others deal with it.
i think talking to her is the best move hon.
take care x