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How Much Time Should You Spend With Your Partner A Week?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My partner is going a bit mental at the moment as I havn't been able to see them much because of work commitments. Apparently I have been seeing my friends too much over Christmas etc...The reason I havn't seen them much is partly as we have been arguing a lot lately when we have seen eachother. How much do people rcekon you should spend with your other half a week when you don't have lots of work commitments/family problems/whatever else is going on in your life? 3 days of the week someone suggested to me...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think there's a certain amount of time you should see them. It depends on other committments, how serious the relationship, personal preferences, all sorts of stuff. Some people need their own space more than others. I know in my last relationship, when we first got together, we wanted to spend every minute together, then after a while, I got over the honeymoon stage and needed some space.

    You just need to find what's right for you & your partner.

    Christmas is always stupidly busy, which makes it difficult.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I only see mine 3 days out of a fortnight while I'm at uni. And that's only because he's in the fortunate position of being able to afford to come see me every two weeks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been with your partner?

    I think to be able to put a figure on it is difficult. I remember when my ex and I a long time ago (we were together about a year and 3 months at this point) used to live in each others pockets and then he decided we should spend more time with other people and went from every day to every now and again in the week to just Saturdays. SO for me it felt like he had lost interest in me and of course after spending so little time together it fizzled out. Maybe you should sit down with your partner and say that you want to spend time with your mates, and they should do the same and then be together when you both want to meet up...does that make sense? So don't all of a sudden start saying "I'll see you Monday, Tuesday and Friday". Also you partner has probably recognised the correlation between your guys arguing and you spending more time with your mates and probably,alike me is seeing it as a sign. You need to sit down and talk about it. The only reason I had issue with it in my relationship was because I didn't have a lot of friends at the time, and so whilst he was out with his, I spent a lot of time alone fearing the worst. Of course that made me feel a bit fragile, less like I wanted to socialise and when we broke up I felt a lot worse (not making that mistake again!) Make sure your partner knows this isn't spelling the end of your relationship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I like my space and I think it keeps things fresh, through the week I will see my bird maybe once, then we spend time with each other at the weekend but also do our own things during the weekend aswell.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All depends on you and your other half.

    With my ex we'd see each other 4 or 5 times a week which suited me. The ex before her was pretty much every day, but we could go off and do our own things if we wanted, that suited me too.

    I've recently met a girl, and in the 3 weeks i've known her i've seen her twice. It's still very early so i'm happy to continue as she's a really great girl. If things continued though, and we'd see each other once a week then i'd end it, no matter how great she was. Personally I like 3 or 4 times a week on a normal week. Although it's not set in stone, things happen and sometimes you just can't see someone, I wouldn't want a girl to not see me just becuase she'd already seen me x number of timnes that week though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There shouldn't be a set time you need to spend with your partner - it's just wehatever you both want. There's only a problem when expectations are different.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou for all the responses. I have tried to explain my point of view to them and they are rather angry to say the least. I love spending time with them, but the thing is when we first got together I would spend the majority of it with them and I guess now I feel I want to spend more time with friends and make new ones. Sometimes there are clashes when they wants to see me and friends do at the same time. Recently I have been stressing over my dissertation. Thing is I think I need more space then they do at times, it's just how I am. And it's not a personal thing I am the same with my friends. We are total opposites in many ways and I guess we are just clashing over this heavily at the moment. Unfortunately I think they ahve taken it the wrong way and feel I don't want to spend tiem with them even though I have tried to explain. I guess if they are not willing to understand that I have other things to do then I will just have to walk away and find soemone who does!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With my last girlfriend, we worked on the same holiday park, so I saw her five days a week, sometimes six. Never on a Sunday though - that was a day strictly for ourselves!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    With my last girlfriend, we worked on the same holiday park, so I saw her five days a week, sometimes six. Never on a Sunday though - that was a day strictly for ourselves!

    I guess its down to each individual circumstance between two people. Even if I am near to someone geographically I don't necessarily want to be in their pockets all the time. I don't like to feel that someone has 'taken over my life completely'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my girlfriend have an agreement that our independence means a lot to us so we can see our mates pretty much anytime we want, funny thing is though that now all our separate mates have become friends with each other so we see each other more than ever now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    can't you combine friends with your partner, obviously not all the time, but I used to always bring my girlfriends out with me when I saw my mates, then a few times a month just have a freinds only night. Might help them?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think we are over its just not working out unfortunately
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my bf was home from uni over xmas and we saw each other everyday and stayed with each other everynight but this is because we wanted to, during the day he worked so we had our space, but whilst he's at uni i probs see him for about 3 days each week or sometime 3 days in a fortnight. we've been together 6 months
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crumbs wrote: »
    I think we are over its just not working out unfortunately

    I'm sorry to hear that. Did you talk things through or is there just nothing there anymore?

    Like everyone said, it just depends on the relationship. I see my OH about 6 days a week but that suits us and we're happy. If we want to do anything else then that's fine but if not we see each other quite often.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    squeal wrote: »
    I'm sorry to hear that. Did you talk things through or is there just nothing there anymore?

    Like everyone said, it just depends on the relationship. I see my OH about 6 days a week but that suits us and we're happy. If we want to do anything else then that's fine but if not we see each other quite often.

    They want it to be spontaneous all the time which I cant manage as I have other commitments! They want me to be there whenever they want but they say they wont for me. We dont talk anymore all we do is argue. I have no more energy left for it. They dont take my views into account. They keep telling me to walk away and its just pushing me away.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Crumbs wrote: »
    They want it to be spontaneous all the time which I cant manage as I have other commitments! They want me to be there whenever they want but they say they wont for me. We dont talk anymore all we do is argue. I have no more energy left for it. They dont take my views into account. They keep telling me to walk away and its just pushing me away.

    Sounds like you have made or are going to make the right decision then. You can do much better than that. Hopefully he will realise what he had and wish he had treated you better. Stay strong, break ups aren't easy :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    as much as you and he/she want, as long as you don't get on his/her nerves and you don't neglect friends/family/duties (like job, study, errands, etc.)

    How unromantic of me! but that's it, i guess.
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