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Age gaps
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
ok so theres this girl at work that i kinda like, shes cute, funny, nice to be round etc etc. im pretty sure she likes me too, the problem comes with the fact that shes about 5 years younger than me, now i know most people would say thats no biggie,
however shes 16-17 and im 21, now i know from going through it myself and seeing my firends go through the same that 16-19 are probably the most changing years of a persons life, so i worry about the following
1) i want a more grown up relationship (dont get me wrong i love to act the kid and play games etc), but i want someoene who is mature enough to be honest/forthright with me about any issues.
2) im worried about workplace bitching, i am her direct superior so it could cause accusations of favoritism even when there is none, i dont care what other people think but a bitchy workplace (and mine is a really bitchy one) can put alot of strain on a new realtionship, i could get into big trouble if someone got vindictive and decided to make a complaint,
3) kinda worried about her parents, not meeting em or anything but just what attitude would they take towards theyre 16 year old daughter dating someone 5 years older? i know my parents wouldnt have been thrilled had my sister done the same at her age,
4) my ex still works there and i think shes still got a thing for me, (i've made it clear nothings ever gonna happen tho)
thats about it for now, i just want to hear from anyone whos ever been in a simillar situation and how they delt with it/how there relationship coped?
thanks
however shes 16-17 and im 21, now i know from going through it myself and seeing my firends go through the same that 16-19 are probably the most changing years of a persons life, so i worry about the following
1) i want a more grown up relationship (dont get me wrong i love to act the kid and play games etc), but i want someoene who is mature enough to be honest/forthright with me about any issues.
2) im worried about workplace bitching, i am her direct superior so it could cause accusations of favoritism even when there is none, i dont care what other people think but a bitchy workplace (and mine is a really bitchy one) can put alot of strain on a new realtionship, i could get into big trouble if someone got vindictive and decided to make a complaint,
3) kinda worried about her parents, not meeting em or anything but just what attitude would they take towards theyre 16 year old daughter dating someone 5 years older? i know my parents wouldnt have been thrilled had my sister done the same at her age,
4) my ex still works there and i think shes still got a thing for me, (i've made it clear nothings ever gonna happen tho)
thats about it for now, i just want to hear from anyone whos ever been in a simillar situation and how they delt with it/how there relationship coped?
thanks
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Comments
As for her parents; same thing again - depends if they're very protective parents or fairly relaxed and you'd just have to find that out with time.
HOWEVER. I think your biggest problem by far is the working with her thing. You say you're her superior at work and I just don't think it's a good idea to be with someone that you're basically in charge of - as you said it can cause friction with the other people at work... and yes the fact that your ex also works there is another reason that it would be very difficult.
Although if you like her enough to want to just deal with these problems if they arrive and take whatever comes at you and your company don't have a rule that you can't go with people you're in charge of; go for it.
But I'd say if your not crazy about this girl then leave it for now... Only make a move if you just can't not make a move.
as to the how much i like her thing i honestly dont know yet, im a slow mover at the best of times and this initial chemistry has only been going about a week, (she hasnt been working here long) but initial chemistry is all it seems to be atm so i guess its wait and see if it fades or gets stronger,
A week isn't very long so I think the waiting to see thing is a good idea. Good luck with it all anyway.
I'd say just take it as it comes - if you're thinking this far whether there's a gap or not in any age so soon it's quite off putting for the lass you're trying to woo.
Deal with all the work nonsense later on and just have fun along the way. If I had a pound for all the times I'd wished I'd chased after someone I fancied who was at work with all this chemistry I'd be £4 richer. :razz:
Your ex will just need to appreciate that you aren't together for a reason and this will be a bit awkward for her but it'll be awkward anytime.
I'm not sure if you've seen this article, but it may help answer some of your questions...
Age gaps
he is 17, i am 21. usually i would not go there at all and wouldnt even like someone who was 17 but i think meeting at work changes things.
go for it
However, I do think the work situation is much more tricky, especially if you're her direct superior. You could get in trouble if people found out and I also think it may put a strain on the relationship (if one develops), you also being her boss...
I'm not saying that you shouldn't go for it, but do bear these things in mind of you do decide to.
I think for you the problem would be work. Don't worry about the age gap. I know a married couple with 10 years between them, and its never caused a problem. I say go for it and dont worry. You might regret not doing it - you dont know what you will have missed!
all good so far