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He's just so horrible.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do you do when you're 21, living at home but can't cope with a parent? I'm in between quitting uni and finding an alternative form of study/work and so I'm at home 24/7 at the moment. My dad works full time, he hates his job, works a mix of days and nights and is often home for 7 days at a time (when overtime lacks) and I'm finding it really hard to cope with him. He's bitter, cynical, controlling and permanently angry.
When he knows he's gotta work the next day he's foul - slams doors, and generally creates an atmosphere. Whenever I say something he doesn't agree with, he tells me I'm being stupid or storms off. Whenever I'm watching the telly he'll come in, look at the screen and then storm out - he never says 'do you mind if I put the footy on' or anything, just silence and slams.
When you're in the car with him, he drives like a maniac, and calls everyone twots because they 'don't think fast enough, and shouldn't be on the road'.
He controls everything, yet complains that he doesn't get a say in anything. He's arrogant and thinks that everyone else is less intelligent and/or important.
He's judgemental; hates the fact that I watch reality tv and calls it 'tv for sun readers' and judges me for eating white bread when he eats brown bread because it's healthier (then cooks 2 whole pizzas to take to work).
It's all about HIM. Me and mum aren't allowed to go on the grass in the garden in winter because it's muddy. We're not allowed to put lights outside the house at christmas, because he thinks it's tacky. We're not allowed to turn the heating up - he says we should just put a jumper on.
I'm just so fed up with it all. He brings the whole atmosphere down, upsets me with his judgmental and cynical views and I'm finding it hard to cope. Mum's used to it, she's coped for 20 years - now she just ignores it, but I'm struggling. I don't think anyone can offer much advice, I suppose I just needed to get it out....
When he knows he's gotta work the next day he's foul - slams doors, and generally creates an atmosphere. Whenever I say something he doesn't agree with, he tells me I'm being stupid or storms off. Whenever I'm watching the telly he'll come in, look at the screen and then storm out - he never says 'do you mind if I put the footy on' or anything, just silence and slams.
When you're in the car with him, he drives like a maniac, and calls everyone twots because they 'don't think fast enough, and shouldn't be on the road'.
He controls everything, yet complains that he doesn't get a say in anything. He's arrogant and thinks that everyone else is less intelligent and/or important.
He's judgemental; hates the fact that I watch reality tv and calls it 'tv for sun readers' and judges me for eating white bread when he eats brown bread because it's healthier (then cooks 2 whole pizzas to take to work).
It's all about HIM. Me and mum aren't allowed to go on the grass in the garden in winter because it's muddy. We're not allowed to put lights outside the house at christmas, because he thinks it's tacky. We're not allowed to turn the heating up - he says we should just put a jumper on.
I'm just so fed up with it all. He brings the whole atmosphere down, upsets me with his judgmental and cynical views and I'm finding it hard to cope. Mum's used to it, she's coped for 20 years - now she just ignores it, but I'm struggling. I don't think anyone can offer much advice, I suppose I just needed to get it out....
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Comments
I presume that you can't talk to him about it and tell him he is causing the disintegration of the family?
I'm just finding it hard to stop being so negative myself; when you're around someone who's negative 99% of the time, it's hard to not let it affect you.
Your sanity comes before anyone, if you can't be strong for you then you won't be for anyone else.
My dad only moved in with me and my mum a year ago, yeah after 20 years of not wanting to, he finally decided he was "ready" :rolleyes:
You need to not let him bring him down, try and think positive and ignore what he does. It's hard but if you let it keep on affecting you it will drive you crazy!
Could you not stay with a relative, if they live close by, just for a while and see how things go?
Has he always been like this?
He's always been difficult it's just that I'm old enough to have my own opinions and experiences of other people to know that he doesn't behave/think like most.
I suppose I've just gotta live with it. With any luck he'll win the lottery and move to Greece - it's where he wants to be.
I would try to talk to your mum in private, get her opinion on things and see where things go.
Best of luck.
And it also sounds like you're taking out your frustration on him.
:yes:
He might also be pissed off that you havent moved out yet.
I know that sounds horrible but i think a lot of people would expect their little fledglings to fly the nest by now? I know I would.