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Stupidity

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm feeling particularly unhappy tonight, so Samaritans is graced with my good presence.

I ended my 2 year relationship, because it was abusive and I was scared. I was also abusive. It was very much a love-hate relationship, and bad for both of us.

I am now in a relationship with my previous best-friend, just to add a bit of scandal.

However, all day I've started pining for my old love. I feel angry with myself for ending the relationship, although it took months and many, MANY tears and discussions and arguments to try and change. In the end, I felt like I had to. I still doubt myself.

I'm a fool, ain't I. Going from one relationship into another :(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Foolish? It's natural.

    You'll probably eventually want to take some time to sort things out, but don't stress :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    getting over any relationship usually takes time and if it was abusive you are probably best out of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds similar to my relationship! Love and hate can go hand in hand, but it can go too far sometimes.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you are truly in love with someone, it takes time to get over losing that deep bond and closeness, whether the relationship was abusive or not.

    The fact that it was abusive means you have you freedom as a prize, you set yourself free and have the rest of your life to look forward to. All power 2 ya mate.

    I was in such a relationship for 5 and a half years in total (2 goes of 2 and a half and three years). I ended it in the end, because although I was deelpy in love, I couldnt live with the constant uncertainty, the lies the cheating, the occasional punch (charmer huh?), and the mental abuse of him telling me Im mad and imagining him cheating (despite having proof-anyway I digress) the point is, when you are mourning the loss of a realtionship whre you wre in love, the bad bits seem to lose their sting, and yu cant only seem to properly remember the good times and the intensity of your feelings.

    I really hope you find the strength not to return to the abusive relationship.

    Also, you say you are with your former best mate now-wuld you say its a rebound thing? like was said earlier, if this was a quick turn around then you might need to take some time out to get yourself sorted thru this, in my experience rebound type relationships have not worked out (althought genuinly thought was doing the right thing at the time as really felt things for those involved) as I hadnt given myself room to breathe in between.

    I split up with the abusive one nearly 2 years ago. Him I dont miss in the least as a guy. But still get occasional pang about the closeness we had. I know he is appalling but I am not a complete fool, and if there hadnt been enought good bits to give me hope that we wouldve turned out as a couple in the end, I wouldnt have hung on as long as I did. But regret the split and him out of my life- NOT EVEN ONCE.

    phew, sorry got on me hobby horse a bit there, sorry. I really hope you are being supported. not just by your new partner.
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