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PGCE and thinking of quiting it

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
hiya,

Not really looking for advice, just wanted to get stuff off my chest..
Im currently on a PGCE course, and started teaching properly about a month ago. It has been so up and down, mostly down, as I feel im so crap at it. My main positive outcomes so far has been my resources and planning are good, and i remain calm during the lesson.
But essentially my teaching is a pile of crap.

Its more like bloody acting and entertaining and I find it so hard. I lack in confidence anyways, so trying to act and change myself in a lesson is so hard.
Ive broke into tears several times the past couple of weeks..not in the lessons, but have to a couple of teachers. Its just so hard and Im really considering other career choices.

Everyone says it gets better after a couple of years, but I dont want another 2 years of feeling like this before i start getting the benefits. I dont even feel like im being myself anymore. Ive become more quiet and possibly shy. I love meeting new people and chatting to people, but I feel like im concentrating so hard on what Im going to do for lessons that im not enjoying myself anymore. I wanted a challenge, but this is just too much at times.
My mum thinks I should stick with it and that Im
not a quiter and stuff.
If I did give up would I be a disappointment? And I dont know what I could do instead. My passion has always been conservation, but I feel its too late to go down that route now.

It feels so good when the kids want to chat with me and I get the buzz when they get it, but Its just zapping all energy I have.

I get to the weekend and I need to do more work for school, but Im so tired that I end up doing very little or just worrying about the fact I cant teach or the fact I have loads of uni work to do with it. I know I cant become a good teacher overnight, but I dont even feel like Im progressing.
Just not enjoying it as much as Id hoped..and my motivation in it is taking a battering...
Ill be surprised if much of that makes sense, but I feel a tad better for getting that out.
Thanks if you read it. *sigh*

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All I know is that the PGCE is hard and a lot of people do give it up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have a look at how far you HAVE come rather than worrying about how much you think you still need to achieve. Think about the skills you have now, compare them to the skills you had at the start of the course - see you ARE getting there. Now think of the resources, mental and external that you used to get this far, and picture yourself applying those things to your future targets. If you believe you can make it, you will. You've been accepted onto the course and made it this far so there's no doubt you CAN do it, what you need to decide is if you want to do it and are open to turning your thinking around and believing in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Have a look at how far you HAVE come rather than worrying about how much you think you still need to achieve. Think about the skills you have now, compare them to the skills you had at the start of the course - see you ARE getting there. Now think of the resources, mental and external that you used to get this far, and picture yourself applying those things to your future targets. If you believe you can make it, you will. You've been accepted onto the course and made it this far so there's no doubt you CAN do it, what you need to decide is if you want to do it and are open to turning your thinking around and believing in yourself.

    Thanks K, I do need to believe in myself..coz thats what is going to get me through to the other side...
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