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How to meet a girl
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is a werid one. I've had a number of girlfriends in my time. Yet i've never mastered the inital stages, how to find a girl who is interested in me. Most (99%) of my girlfriends have been met on the internet. I've never met a girl in a club or pub EVER, only ever had one gf from college and don't really know how to do it. I go to clubs with friends, i chat to girls, get to know them, have lots of girl mates telling me i deserve a nice girlfriend. But i duno how to even get one.
It's the one thing that troubles me the most, everything else in life i work for, i've got control over, i can change and do something about. But this, it gets me down as i feel there is nothing i can do. I'm a nice guy, i go out, i get on well with people, yet i have never managed to meet a girl in a club and have her like me or kiss me or well anything.
So any advice/tips? Is this the one thing in life i have no control over? I duno what to d0
It's the one thing that troubles me the most, everything else in life i work for, i've got control over, i can change and do something about. But this, it gets me down as i feel there is nothing i can do. I'm a nice guy, i go out, i get on well with people, yet i have never managed to meet a girl in a club and have her like me or kiss me or well anything.
So any advice/tips? Is this the one thing in life i have no control over? I duno what to d0
0
Comments
Don't be soft. Cheeky and charming go along way.
:thumb:
You know whjat the craic is, it's a hard thing to get right but when you get it. Bang, rewards are there.
I've never understood that. That always seems like a paradox to me. I doubt it's all that accurate anyway as different women like different things.
This is true.
Skive also makes a good point as well.
Not stalking you, I promise but :yes: to that statement.
Ask around your friends and see if they know anyone they could set you up with.
Just practise getting talking to people when your out and about doing day to day things... like at the bus stop or something. And practise catching girls eyes when your walking around in general.
Now, with my not being a Casanova-type figure myself, (just take one look at any of my profiles in my signature to see the evidence for yourself) I hesitate to write the following. However, if you want at least a chance of success with women, there's three things you need to remember. Firstly, make plenty of eye contact. Unless she's a prostitute, she's not going to be happy if you spend all your time looking towards her cleavage. Second, listen carefully to what they have to say, and try to respond constructively. And third, don't invade their personal space.
But yeah, Skive summed it up perfectly. Nice is dull. Or, rather, nice is for later on in the relationship (if, indeed, a relationship forms). A bit of bravado and bantering back and forth is what's needed to set things in motion. Before the "nice guys finish last" whining starts up, most of these cocky blokes are perfectly nice... they just know when to play up their niceness and when to play up their confidence to have them front and centre in a girl's attention.
As for eye contact, even a prostitute probably wouldn't be too thrilled if you spent the entire time looking at her cleavage. Though she'd probably turn a blind eye since you're footing the bill
By no stretch of the imagination does the best looking guy or the fella with the best-honed Casanova skills always get the girls. The stand-out favourites of my exes aren't the best looking or fittest (in fact, I'm sure they'd forgive me for saying they were fairly "average" looking by anyone's standards) but they were confident, had good craic and... most importantly, went in for the kill at the right time. You can set up a situation really well but, crucially, if you fail to actually make a move then you're fucked. Not in the good way...
Also, it's not my place to speak well of Kermit, but he wrote an article for TheSite about a similar subject to this. Anyone wanting to find a girlfriend should read it. He's married by now, so he must have done something right, after all.
I can't fault what everyone else has said, but it is really about working out what works for you and what you're comfortable with, because if you're not comfortable, then you're not gonna come across well. For me, it's basically what everyone's said, but in the context of a party, or being introduced to someone, rather than going up to a stranger. And the more you go out, the more you get introduced to new people, who will introduce you to more new people, who may be hot, female and interested. Of course that doesn't mean if you just happen to be stood next to someone you like at the bar, or accidentally bump into someone on the dance floor, you can't go with it, but I'm not into the whole thing of going up to someone purely with the intention of declaring your interest in them.
arent my posts about the alternative uses for grapefruit juice worth stalking?:crying:
i think its kinda a loose loose situation in a club, if he buys you a drink then it looks like he only wants one thing...but if he doesn't then he looks like he's cheap.
You do have control over meeting people.