Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Wow, unpleasant

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ive just realised that the more i think about it, i really dont like one of my friends. not a nice thing to realise! hes not a close chum or owt but its still a bit shit. ugh. hes going out with one of my pals and hes in a band with my bf so its like, i cant just cut him out. gayness. this ever happened to anyone? dont really know how to proceed, if i should act normally around him or just dingy him. hmmm.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just be polite and try to avoid them.

    There's a guy at my uni who's a complete sleaze and really pretentious. I feel really uncomfortable so I say hi to be polite, but avoid other places he's going.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what made you realise you actually dislike them? something they did/said or just a personality clash?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he started going out with my friend about 5 months ago and im just realising how bad he is for her. like, he looks after her, kisses and cuddles her and stuff but she has lots of 'issues' with eating and she is literally now a bag of bones. and hes letting her get like that. she doesnt eat and he doesnt do anything to help her. she is scarily thin and if your gf was in the state she was in in, a normal person would get her help.

    plus he got her onto pills and shes fucked up as it is mentally without that in the mix. he doesnt work so they spend all their time in the pub, and shes now on disciplinary action at work for the amount of sickies shes pulled whilst hungover in his bed on a wednesday morning.

    he's 30 and has no job, rents flat with 2 other guys, doesnt have a car or anything and still gets money off his mum.

    it all adds up to make me think he's a very large penis!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thirty with no job and a girlfriend and a flat? It's not going to take a very strong breeze to make his life go down the shitter.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That sounds hard, maybe you shouldnt stay away from him because your friend may realise and distance herself from you and she probably needs you right now
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also be wary of pinning your friend's problems on him so that you've got someone to blame. I'm not saying he's an angel or anything, but while it might be true that he could be doing more to help his girlfriend, it's not his fault that she has these problems in the first place.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tacs1895 wrote: »
    Also be wary of pinning your friend's problems on him so that you've got someone to blame. I'm not saying he's an angel or anything, but while it might be true that he could be doing more to help his girlfriend, it's not his fault that she has these problems in the first place.
    Exactly what I was thinking!! What are you as a friend doing to help your friend?? You say he should get her help but its not as simple as that, if someone has a problem they need to want to get help themselves or the help won't work!! Have you tried getting your friend help??

    But you say he looks after her, kisses, cuddles etc. but then blame him for her issues with eating! Surely if he didn't show her any affection this may have an effect on her thinking "need to get thin, my boyf doesn't fancy me" but I can't see it the other way round!!

    Obviously pills don't help anyone whos a bit screwed up mentally but my experience with pills is that they only cause depression etc. if you overdo it badly and I'm talking not sleeping for days while popping them, and also if theres actually something in your life to depress you!!

    Think you need to stay close to your friend which unfortunately means your going to have to put up with this guy!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    paperdoll wrote: »
    she is scarily thin and if your gf was in the state she was in in, a normal person would get her help.

    And if she doesn't want help? Would he force her into the hospital?

    Just because he's going out with someone with mental health difficulties doesn't mean that he can fix them.
    he got her onto pills...he's 30 and has no job

    Those may be better reasons, but at the same time, it doesn't sound like your friend is exactly being forced into skiving from work and taking illegal drugs. It sounds like she would do that anyway.

    It sounds like you're blaming him for your friend's problems, and you're being a bit snobby too. You can't help it if you don't like someone, though. The best thing to do would be polite in his presence, but don't go actively seeking it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    And if she doesn't want help? Would he force her into the hospital?

    Just because he's going out with someone with mental health difficulties doesn't mean that he can fix them.



    Those may be better reasons, but at the same time, it doesn't sound like your friend is exactly being forced into skiving from work and taking illegal drugs. It sounds like she would do that anyway.

    It sounds like you're blaming him for your friend's problems, and you're being a bit snobby too. You can't help it if you don't like someone, though. The best thing to do would be polite in his presence, but don't go actively seeking it.

    yes fair enough, my friend is really messed up. she says she has counselling sessions for her eating issues and things. im not blaming the dude for my friends problems, but he sure as hell aint making things better. the change in her since they started going out is scary. even in the space of 6 months, she has totally changed. hes not good for, imo.
Sign In or Register to comment.