getting back together part 2

Posted a general thread about this recently, this one is a bit more specific. I split up with my girlfriend about five weeks ago now, we'd been together for seven months. It was mainly her call, although I felt also that it was the right thing to do. The problems were to do with her not being over her 7-year ex, and also to do with her general depression (not severe, but consistent), never really having been on her own since her dad died several years ago, and just needing to be on her own to sort herself out a bit. I felt that a lot of the reasons she gave for why I might not be right for her were really to with other problems in her life. I also felt I'd not been taken for who I was, because in several ways she was comparing me to her ex. She bascially agrees with me about most of this. I wanted the chance to work things out a bit more, and worry that we we're missing out on a really good opportunity. She feels unsure as well. I feel that if she could sort herself out in other ways, then we'd have a good chance of starting over.

I've had to decide what to do next. If I knew it was definitely over, then I would certainly cut contact for a while and try to get over it. But she's never been able to say that she was sure she didn't want to be with me. She was keen to stay in touch, so we've talked quite a bit on the phone, and met a couple of times. I could just cut my losses, cut off contact and try to move on, but while I think there's a chance of getting back together I can't bring myself to do that. We both still enjoy talking and we miss each other. So basically I'm waiting for a time when we might start over, which is maybe not that sensible, but it's what I'm doing. I know there's no guarantee but I feel the possibility is worth waiting for. What I'm struggling with now is how much contact to have with her. We speak about once or twice a week, but it's hard, because I'd like to talk to her more, and I think she would too. I know she's lonely, down about her studies, that kind of thing, so I feel sorry for her and desperately want to cheer her up, but then if she's asked to be on her own I don't know how much support I should really offer. I want to give her the space she says she wants, but at the same time I don't really see her doing much to turn things around (for example, she's been saying for ages that she wants to try cognitive therapy, but she never gets round to actually doing it). It's a bit maddening, because while I appreciate that she's down and needs a bit of time, I don't think she needs to do that much to get herself going again (and I know because I've been out with someone else before who had much more serious depression problems). She's just in a bit of a rut. I just wish she'd try a bit more. I don't want to be with her just because I'm worried about her (which I've also felt with someone else). I want her to sort things out for her own well-being of course, but also for me, because then things between us could work. Given that I'm holding out for a second chance, I think it's also possible to give someone too much space. I'd be gutted to break contact, still hope to get back together and then find out in a couple of months that she's completely moved on.

It's really hard, I've made the decision to wait for her for the time being, and with time I'm sure it'll become clearer. But in the meantime it's hard, being in touch with someone who I still want to be with, and knowing that they're down as well as still having feelings for me. I know I can't force the issue, and that if I'm going to wait then I have to be patient, but I don't know how long I can do it for either. :crying:

Thanks for reading. Any comments or advice???