If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
I am short, I am sad
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all,
well basically, I arounf 5 "6. And im beginning to get fed up with everything. Dont get me wrong iv had plenty of women in the past, around 12 partners. But only one serious realationship. Its been around 3 years now that i've had a proper girlfriend, and i loved her to bits. But at this moment i'm finding it difficult to meet any women at all, i've graduated university and i dont have any extra actvities or contacts to meet girls. The only chance i have is outside work, albeit nightclubs and such. Which wouldn't be too bad if i had the convidence, but im sooo conscious of my height. I look around 17, although im 22. Dont get me wrong, i dont thing im that bad looking and i often get told im cute,sometimes hot etec. but i know girls hold height in such an important thing. I've began to get quite depressed about the whole thing,since i really can't do much about it. So much to the extent that I often think that if there is a god, why the fuck couldn't i be made normal? Like everyone else. All my mates are the same height and i'm often fighting my own corner through sly little remarks about my height.It's tough being small in height in a man and to be honest i am really getting fed up of it. At school it wasn't such a problem because no one was too much bigger than me, now people who are fucking 17 are taller. I just want to be happy, like i was once a few years ago with my gf. But i can't see that happening at all in the near future. I guess this isnt about realationships, but i just wanted to spill how i was feeling:(
well basically, I arounf 5 "6. And im beginning to get fed up with everything. Dont get me wrong iv had plenty of women in the past, around 12 partners. But only one serious realationship. Its been around 3 years now that i've had a proper girlfriend, and i loved her to bits. But at this moment i'm finding it difficult to meet any women at all, i've graduated university and i dont have any extra actvities or contacts to meet girls. The only chance i have is outside work, albeit nightclubs and such. Which wouldn't be too bad if i had the convidence, but im sooo conscious of my height. I look around 17, although im 22. Dont get me wrong, i dont thing im that bad looking and i often get told im cute,sometimes hot etec. but i know girls hold height in such an important thing. I've began to get quite depressed about the whole thing,since i really can't do much about it. So much to the extent that I often think that if there is a god, why the fuck couldn't i be made normal? Like everyone else. All my mates are the same height and i'm often fighting my own corner through sly little remarks about my height.It's tough being small in height in a man and to be honest i am really getting fed up of it. At school it wasn't such a problem because no one was too much bigger than me, now people who are fucking 17 are taller. I just want to be happy, like i was once a few years ago with my gf. But i can't see that happening at all in the near future. I guess this isnt about realationships, but i just wanted to spill how i was feeling:(
0
Comments
To be honest though, I'm 25 and pretty much the same height as you and it doesnt bother me at all. I've always been one of the small ones in any group of people but at the end of the day it doesn't deserve any significance or thinking of as an issue because there are more important things.
Regarding the " but I know girls hold height as an important thing ". I'd have to disagree. I've personally known a fair amount of couples who were very mismatched in their heights and it's never been a problem. Every one is different though and like I said I think you've just let it get to you way too much.
It's only an issue BECAUSE you let it bother you. The chances are that other people don't even see your height as an issue. Let this height issue go and I'd say you'd see a difference to be honest.
I don't believe " Normal " really exists because every person seems thing's differently.
Confidence can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you need to make sure that it's not a negative one. Your height won't change, so you're going to have to learn to be comfortable with it. Obviously it's true that girls tend to find taller blokes attractive, but it's only a small part of it, because as I've mentioned, not one of the men above would have problems getting female company if he wanted.
You already know what you need to do. You said yourself, you don't bother going out and socialising as much as you should. And socialise in places where you can actually get to know people a bit.
Exactly the same situation as me. My boyfriend is 5'5" also. I wouldn't want a taller man as I'd have to crane my neck!
Saying that, it is all well and good for people to come along and tell you they love shorter men or they are a shorter man who's fine with it, or that famous person x, y or z is a dwarf and still gets a shag. I guess if you have a complex about it hearing this isn't going to help. After all, men tell their girlfriends day after day "you aren't fat" and how many of us believe them? Exactly!
I think you need to sort out some self esteem issues that you clearly have. Perhaps you could consider talking to your GP about it and asking if there is any form of counselling that you can be referred to.
I do plenty well with women - it's all about who you are not how tall you are! Take the ribbing from your mates in good spirits (I've had Willow, Wee Man, Runt and loads of the others) as they don't mean it nastily. It's like calling a slightly larger friend 'Tons of fun' etc... Find a silly name to call them which hits on something that stands out, just keep it nice. It will all be in good spirits!
All that matters in the end is confidence and personality. Looks fade and people get old and hunch over. Don't worry about it.
i try to go out there, socialise, be positive and confident, develop my personality, talk, lead etc...
build up your self esteem, perhaps try and improve health,looks and body, be patient, be a man, the results will come :thumb:
I was being shallow I thought, in not wanting to go out with a guy because he was shorter than me (Im 5ft 10, hes about 5ft 5/6 or so). TBH there was another reason but now Im over both of them.
We've been together 3 months, and he is great. The height difference is so not an issue now. We take the mick out of each other for being short and tall and he makes me laugh more than almost anyone else Ive eva met.
In the past, guys have been put off me because Im too tall for their liking, or I got told not to wear heels if we were going out together. But he is confident in himself and loves (or sez he does anyway!) whatever I wer, heels included.
It'll happen 4 u 2 mate. I hope people you meet arent as shallow as I once was.
Your height is only an issue if you make it one. I'm 5 foot tall, and when I was at college there was a girl who went on about it. I felt self conscious about it, and would wear big heels all the time, which hurt my feet.
Now I'm older, I don't care so much. I tend to prefer shorter men, I feel silly with a tall guy and like I need to wear heels all the time to look better together.
If you meet someone who is worth it, they won't care. 5 foot 6 is not that small
You dont know much then!
As a tall girl, and as a person that has a lot of tall female friends, i can honestly tell you that height is rarely a problem. Ive never had a boyfriend thats taller than me and dont care. My boyfriend is an inch or 2 shorter than me and if i had the choice to make him taller by magic then i wouldnt, i love his height! and two of my best friends are in long term relationships with men shorter than them, they dont care either.
seeing as i'm only 5'1 myself i should probably go for shorter guys but hey!
girls don't hold it that high in importance...personality is far more important...