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Ex - To Be or Not To Be Friends?!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Seriously don't know what to do...have tried to be civil in response to them. But not sure about keeping in contact with them. Help please...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's really no right or wrong answer for this, you'll youst have to stick with what's right for you. It might turn out to be too difficult to remain friends directly after the break up for some, so maybe it's better to leave it all for a while, then try to build up a friendship later?

    You will have to ask yourself if remaining friends will make it more difficult for you to go on with yourlife or not, as to make an informed decision on the basis of that. Good løkk :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if theres any doubt, then the answer is no.
    clean breaks are generally much easier all round.

    I dont know what all the fuss is about trying to be friends with exes.
    I dont think people should bear grudges or be horrid, but apart from a few cases I just dont see the point. Just makes things harder.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You have to do whats right for you. Generally I find a clean break at least for a few months is a good idea. Lets the hurt and anger die down and you remember the friendship that was there and so on.

    Suppose it also depends on where and when you met. I seem to always go out with people who've been good friends before we went out, so I never want to lose that friendship when I split up either so will get back in touch after a few months when I think we've moved on enough. Sometimes that isn't until we've both got different partners and we're happy and so on though, other times it's been almost immediately. Entirely dependent on circumstance.

    But being friends and certainly being friends too early imo makes it a lot harder to move on and enjoy life without being with that person and it can lead to feelings growing stronger again and causing more distress in the future.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Before you make any decisions think about what you want.
    Do you want to get back with this person, do you want to move on from them or do you want to be friends ?

    There's nothing wrong with being friends with an Ex as long as you both are 'in the same place'. If you're trying to move on it's usually easier without an contact at all. If you rush into a friendship too soon after the breakup things could get a bit messy with feelings like jealously (seeing your ex date new people or visa vesa).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the responses. Well I know they have someone new. It doesnt bother me now. I was surprised at first as it seemed to happen pretty quickly, but I guess everyones different. Just been thinking we disagreed so much in the end and are so different. Dont know if there is much point. Our initial friendship wasnt for very long, although it was fun. Guess Ill think on it.
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