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coping with long distance relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
how?

i'm off to uni tomorrow and am currently sat at home wondering how to survive the next couple of months. i am SO excited about starting and I can't wait to get up there and join in with everything, I've always wanted to be there and I totally want to throw myself into everything.

but at the moment I am panicing at the thought of not seeing the fella. I think of spending so long without him and it makes it hard to breathe. Which is ridiculous, because he'll come up at least once every couple of weeks anyway (first coming in 2 weeks) and we'll be able to speak on the phone lots as well.

But the thought of not being with him makes me so so sad. I know I'm being feeble. Feel free to tell me I'm being feeble. Please just tell me that it will be ok as well. Which I'm sure it will be after a little while, because I'm crazy about this guy but I'm also crazy about this subject and I want the uni experience too.

But right now I don't know what to do without him :crying:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've been at uni in Newcastle for 2 weeks now, and Rich is obviously still down in London. That's like...400 miles, so pretty long distance!! The first week was hard - harder for him than me, but I won't pretend it was easy for me either. He came to visit at the end of my first week, and he'll be coming every two weeks.

    You're not being feeble. I was crying almost every night in the week before I went because I didn't want to leave him. But it WILL be ok. My advice is to book all your train tickets in advance - Rich's tickets last weekend were £80, the ones he bought for the beginning of December were £10 each way.

    It WILL get easier, although it will be hard at first. But you'll be so wrapped up in Uni that you will hardly think about it :yes:.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not being feeble at all. Completely normal to feel a bit anxious about going into a period of ldr, especially if you're used to being together a lot. Try seeing each other a lot, every couple of weeks sounds like a good plan. However, I'd say it's important to try to live your own lives as well, make new friends and have fun. Use msn, phone etc. regularly to stay in touch as to include each other in your lives.

    There will be times when you feel down about it, but explain each other how you feel and plan something romantic at those times and you will be fine. Could be a good idea to set up the next visit before you leave each other as it will give you something to look forward to straight away.
    Also, if you have any arguments/discussions, be patient with each other, especially if you're texting. Keep in mind that you can't see each other's faces which may imply misunderstandings now and then.

    Could have written rant after rant about ldr's but I'll stop here for now, but feel free to ask :P. But give it some time to adjust to it and you'll both be just fine.

    Good løkk :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well first of all use technology to your advantage webcams, and VoIP no need to rack up huge phone bills chatting on the phone when you can use the net to chat for free.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I survived 4 years at uni with my boyfriend back at home.

    One thing I think is important is not to see too much of each other, every two weeks is good, at least for the first year. The last thing you want is to start resenting him for keeping you away from uni life.

    The hardest point in my long-term relationship was the excitement at the end of my degree that I was going back home but then a couple of weeks later taking a job at the other end of the country. That was a mistake :(
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