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Girl at work, what to do...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi, was wondering if you lot could help me with something at the moment because being honest i'm clueless. Basically I work in a pub as a barman and over the last month or so I've started to get on well with one of the waitreesses at work and started to have feelings for her, the problem is though shes two years younger than me (im 19 shes 17) and I've never been in a relationship because I guess im afraid of rejection and just having quite a low opinion of myself. Having seen a few past threads it appears i'm not the only one with this problem.
Saying all that though since getting the job and sorting myself out my confidence has improved and for the first time ever really I think maybe I am good enough to be with someone.Also theres something about her which puts me at ease, I feel comfortable around her and we do flirt quite a bit but I don't know if shes just being friendly or if maybe she likes me as well? Whenever we have breaks at the same time she'll either come sit with me or ask if i'll join her and she has paid me compliments about my tie and how I seem to look calm on the bar when the place was a bit hectic etc but I don't know if thats just being friendly or not.
I have tried to return the compliments but so far I've only managed to say she smelt nice (yes i know, modern day casanova me :rolleyes: ) but it seemed to go down well enough and the way she said thanks seemed a little odd, seemed very sincere and I guess apreciated?
My concern is that I don't want to get the wrong end of the stick and for it to go tits up because it would make work awkward and i'm going back to college in Sept and she will be there as well a year above me (granted its a big place).
She is gorgeous though and having got to know her I don't want to pass up the chance to be with her though, so has anyone got any experience with dating people from work and whats the best way to go about it?
Apologies for being absolutely clueless but this is the best place to get some proper advice.
Saying all that though since getting the job and sorting myself out my confidence has improved and for the first time ever really I think maybe I am good enough to be with someone.Also theres something about her which puts me at ease, I feel comfortable around her and we do flirt quite a bit but I don't know if shes just being friendly or if maybe she likes me as well? Whenever we have breaks at the same time she'll either come sit with me or ask if i'll join her and she has paid me compliments about my tie and how I seem to look calm on the bar when the place was a bit hectic etc but I don't know if thats just being friendly or not.
I have tried to return the compliments but so far I've only managed to say she smelt nice (yes i know, modern day casanova me :rolleyes: ) but it seemed to go down well enough and the way she said thanks seemed a little odd, seemed very sincere and I guess apreciated?
My concern is that I don't want to get the wrong end of the stick and for it to go tits up because it would make work awkward and i'm going back to college in Sept and she will be there as well a year above me (granted its a big place).
She is gorgeous though and having got to know her I don't want to pass up the chance to be with her though, so has anyone got any experience with dating people from work and whats the best way to go about it?
Apologies for being absolutely clueless but this is the best place to get some proper advice.
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Comments
You can try asking her, if you like.
Oh boy are you asking the right guy!!
It sounds from reading between the lines that she considers you a friend at the very least, so that in itself could be great building block to form a solid relationship.
You could take a leap while on a break together and ask her if she fancies seeing a film some night, it doesn't have to be a big deal if you word it rightly. Do you know any back round information on her such as what music,t.v & firms she likes?
If you want to test the water without jumping in fully, you could ask her what she thinks of another male worker. If she comes back with "oh he's nice but I kinda like someone else" and smiles at you, you're game on mate!:thumb:
Down side to that is she might let slip she has a bf/doesn't want a bf. Either outcome allows you to see where she stands without lining yourself up for hurt/embarrassment!
From what you've said so far it sounds like a good start to a good friendship/ relationship.
But if it's all going good get her number then send her a text asking how she's doing. Wait for her to reply then text back asking her out or something.
Seen it and in that context he's spot on. Take it easy, don't go OTT trying to do things for he, hoping atht she will respond. Pluck up courage and ask her out.
Just gald he didn't mentioned that women prefer a "challenge"
2) you cant talk and really get to know each other,
work relationships can be tough especially if one of you is in a position of authority, either it could cause friction between you 2, or others will accuse one or the other of favoritism (believe me this even happens if you purposely favour them less than anyone else)
You may have a point about going to see a film, i'm sure I can think of something even if it's just go into town for few hours, grab some lunch or something.
As far as it being a work thing goes it could be a bit of problem but the kind of job we do it should be ok. We are both on the same level I guess and everyone there gets on well, got a few couples on the team already so it's nothing new.
Anyways didn't really get much of a chance to speak to her tonight the way the shifts worked out but never mind, she continued to compliment my tie collection (odd seeing as the tie I had on wasn't new and shes seen it before
Anywhoo after all that I have got her number, I asked if she wanted to meet up during college sometime and after bit of "well thats not good for me etc etc" she just gave me her number and said text when your free.
Sounds gd but after saying we'd meet up today we never did as i walked into the place we decided to meet but I think I saw her on a table with a load of her friends and I didn't want to just barge my way in, so I just text her saying im here if your free. Didn't get a reply so decided to just leave and go do bit of revision. She did eventually reply to my text, saying she was really sorry she couldn't hear her phone and so on but I didn't want to rush back over to the place we said we would meet, as it was getting on and it's not like I had left her on her own so didn't think she would be too bothered. I just text back saying np maybe another time just text me. If you dont want to then no worries.
Sorry I know its a tad long winded just trying to lay it all down so you can try make sense of it. Does it sound like im wasting my time? I can't help but feel I haven't a chance but im not the best person to judge that as I do have quite a low opinion of myself so i'm not looking at it from a good position, if that makes sense.
I am linking you to this article that may help boost your confidence when dealing with dating, which i hope can be useful. It could be a good idea however to call her, maybe in the evening. Perhaps if you speak a few times you will be able to get closer and eventually you will both find the time to meet up. It will also help you to get to know each other better so why not give it a try!
Good luck