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How do you handle fear?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I hope i'm posting this in the right forum, so I was just wondering how does everyone cope or live with there fears. I don't mean physical like fear of a lion eating you but emotional fear. Fear of failure, of success, people, fear that your missing out. Thats a fear that i'm personaly really terrified of myself. I used to cope through complusive behavior but i've tried to put more effort into facing my fears, but the subject interrest me so much I was just curious how others deal with this universal feeling. I was always taught that it was powerful to reveal your fears and weaknesses but I could be wrong 
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1) It's a cliche, but there are millions of people that are far worse off than me.
2) An awful lot of the stuff I worry about or fear is actually out of my control and is therefore not worth the worry. Only bother worrying about the stuff you can change.
3) I look around and assess all the people who when I'm down I think have done alot better than me or are more focused me, and I actually realise that I have more talents than most of them and am just as motivated, likeable, clever etc as them.
4) The little things I worry about when I'm down on myself are just that - little things. When I'm positive I just think what's the point? Who gives a shit?
I could go on, but the point is, when I stop being down on myself and just look at things from a positive view for a while I realise I'm perfectly worthy and I'm just fine. What I really need to work on is being able to turn the positiveness on when I'm having a bad patch. Easier said than done, but hey, I'm getting closer. As for the bad patches, I still put alot of it down to youthful angst. Not knowing exactly who I am or where I wanna go, but hopefully eventually I'll work that out and when I'm settled a few clouds will be lifted. I think being fearful of failure or worrying about life now and again is not an altogether bad trait to have - because it can motivate you to better yourself or get out of your comfort zone. You just gotta channel it right like I'm trying to do - don't let it beat you up, use it to your advantage...
But emotional fears are different. Again I think i tend to run away or try and ignore them. Out of sight out of mind.
Im certainly no expert but I think the best way to deal with your fears is to tackle them head on.
:thumb:
I started working on facing my fears a while ago and I try to do that today. I worked on my self esteem a lot so now I'm not engulfed by fear of how people perceive me. I'm finally free to be myself.
Some things still affect me, but I am more effective in dealing with it. I try not to think too much about things out of my control (like the future and especially the past) and focus on tackling my day to day life.
The only way you can really deal with fear is to confront it face-on. I used to put on a confident front to get over the fear of new things and people, and I've now got so used to the front that it is what I am. Getting a job where you are forced to confront the fear every day will help a lot.
i get like this sometimes too, i tend to get it when i like somebody (im terrible at approaching/letting girls know i like them) i think why would they ever like me theres so many taller/cleverer/better looking/funnier blokes about so i get terrified of rejection and terrified they will find out, i usually cope by talking to a close friend about how i feel, posting here
I completely agree with what you said Luke, it's true that emotions are going to be like a rollarcoaster ride with it's various ups and downs, really I think overcoming fear is trying to control or positively influence your unconscious. I also agree that fear has it's uses for reflection and contemplation but when it's fear that set your limits instead of your reasoning and logic then thats when problems start to occur.
Thats what i've thought as well, to face your fears, get out of your comfort zone, etc. It helps when you have support but most of the time it's something that you'll have to do yourself.
Thats what I used to do all my life as well but recent events have pushed me enough to leave my comfort zone, just to see if those fears are really there or not.
And then some ... :nervous:
that is exactly how i feel at the moment.
Yeah, I made that up.
Okay, not really, it was Marianne Williamson. I would've left the God bullshit out.