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how do i get over it
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone, i havent been on in a while but i really need to get ths off my chest, i've been sleeping with my cousins ex boyfriend for past few months, it just happened one night when we were drunk and as they broke up 2 years ago and she's with someoe else we decided to keep on doing it.
We were getting on really well and i ended up moving in with him because needed somewhere to stay, i ended up falling for him really hard and thought he felt the same way, ( turns out he's just been using me ) i feel really really upset and dont no what to do with myself, never felt this bad before after breaking up with someone, how do i get over it, i cried so much last night i thought id never stop, i cant eat, sleep and dont want to see or talk to anyone..
Also nobody knows we've been sleeping together they just thought we were mates, so cant talk to anyone about it, which is making it really difficult because people are gona start asking me whats wrong and i cant tell them.. and il have to see him all the time cos he pals around with some of my mates too.
has anyone got advice for me, how do ya get over breaking up with someone you love...
We were getting on really well and i ended up moving in with him because needed somewhere to stay, i ended up falling for him really hard and thought he felt the same way, ( turns out he's just been using me ) i feel really really upset and dont no what to do with myself, never felt this bad before after breaking up with someone, how do i get over it, i cried so much last night i thought id never stop, i cant eat, sleep and dont want to see or talk to anyone..
Also nobody knows we've been sleeping together they just thought we were mates, so cant talk to anyone about it, which is making it really difficult because people are gona start asking me whats wrong and i cant tell them.. and il have to see him all the time cos he pals around with some of my mates too.
has anyone got advice for me, how do ya get over breaking up with someone you love...
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Comments
I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through, it must be especially ahrd because you feel you have no one to talk to.
It's hard getting over somebody you loved but it is possible and before long you will be feeling much happier I promise you.
There are no definite things you can do to get over this bloke but some things to try are:
1. Do not stay at home in your dressing gown all mopy, get up, get dressed and do your make up and get out of the house, this simple thing will make you feel better straight away.
2. Look for clubs/groups in your area that your interested in. Or are there any places that need volunteers to help out. Helping others is a great way to take your mind off your own problems and joining groups means you'll meet new people and be away from the mates who are also hanging around with the fella.
3. Don't focus on all the good times but think instead how he used and hurt you. Do you really want to be with somebody like this?
4. Write a letter and put down exactly how you are feeling and what you would potentially like to say to this guy, don't send it though. It's something to release your anger and hurt on. Apparantly just writing for 15 minutes a day, helps us release so much stress.
5. Whatever you do, do not sleep with him again. You will be just hurting yourself more and making yourself feel more used.
6. Find somebody you can talk to, a mate or your mum and just let it all out, it will help you so much.
I went through a heartbreak just over a year ago and it took me a hell of a long time to get over it, each person is different, but I remember the first month was the hardest, I hardly ate a thing and my friends and famil became quite worried about me. This was until I realised the guy was a cheater and a liar and why was I hurting myself and feeling like this over such a waste of space? After this I starting working for a children's charity where I met lots of new friends and eventually the pain became less and less.
You will get over this, but primarily my advice to you is to talk and see people. It will help you so much.
Good Luck
Anyway, i think nicolalou has given some excellent advice. Another thing i'd like to reccommend would be this fact sheet on thesite...it helped me a couple of years ago when i got dumped.
Good luck with it *hugs*
:yes: wise words there.
The thing about break-ups is they are the downside to relationships and can lead you to feel lost, confused and even angry. The good thing is plenty of us on TheSite.org have been through them and come out the other side. Even just talking to people on here about your situation can make you feel a hell of a lot better.
cyclops has linked to a good article and there's also mending a broken heart
If you'd like further support, why not ring supportline Tel: 020 8554 9004 - sometimes it's easier to open up when people don't know you and aren't connected to your life and problems.
Take care of yourself