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How Do I Stop Relying On Other People So Often?

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
in Sex & Relationships
Ever since a friend of mine (the first person to find out) found out about my self harm, I seem to have relied on him so much to talk to me, so that I don't cut myself. Normally, I tend to ask him to talk to me when I know he won't/can't. (to cut a long story short, we've had some personal problems and he's decided at various time duing the year that he can't deal with the way I'm acting and thinks the answer is not to talk to me; despite not trusting me)

Is there any way I can stop doing this? I think what's made it worse was that, he explained to me that it wasn't possible to talk to me all the time (as he has a wife and a 2 year old son) but if I was really having problems, then he would try to talk to me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I suppose what you need to try and do is develop more of your own coping techniques that don't rely on that one person being avaliable. Find things you can do for yourself that help, be it knitting, writing a diary, going for a run or madly cleaning the bathroom. Another approach would be to widen your support network, so you have more people you can turn to, rather than just relying on that one.


    I know that's all a lot easier said than done, but those are the only real ideas I can think of.

    I think I've been in a very similar position to your friend and I found at times the only thing I could do was cut contact, it's not your fault at all but it can be very difficult and disruptive to the rest of your life always being there for someone. Things improved with my friend when she got better generally, and better at using her own coping techniques.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scary Monster wrote: »
    I think I've been in a very similar position to your friend and I found at times the only thing I could do was cut contact, it's not your fault at all but it can be very difficult and disruptive to the rest of your life always being there for someone.

    I think this is what my friend found as well - he'd always not talk to me when everything became really complicated and he told me that he couldn't deal with my problems.
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