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Fetish question

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Is it possible to 'get over' a fetish so you're no longer 'in to it'?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Suppose it might depend on the fetish.

    Care to elaborate ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have a particular fetish which is getting very close to affecting my behaviour around women - and I don't want it to. I'm on the NHS waiting list for counselling and was wondering if there's a away it can be overcome?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Good luck with the waiting list, i've been waiting for months!

    Theres a few things you could try. If your having regular sex with someone(s) yoiu could explore that fetish with them, but that could make you want it more, worth a try though.

    Also, im on antidepressants for anxiety called citalopram, which have also lowered my sex drive massively. If it is really effecting your life that much, might be worth discussing it with ur GP.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A fetish is usually a psychological link between an activity and sexual pleasure, so it is possible to "overcome" the fetish, but you would probably need specialist help and therapy to do so. Trying to use willpower would probably just bring about feelings of guilt when you do succumb to the fetish, and would probably make things worse.

    If you're on the waiting list for therapy with the NHS, it would be something to try and explore whilst you are there. You could consider raising it with your GP, but I don't know how much you'd want to if you don't really want to talk about it on an anonymous message board.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ya could look into hpsy. theories and achoring, and try to mentally assosiate the fetish with something bad/wrong/disgusting (eg. a pile of shit) and try that, not sure how itd apply though, ill search around :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK here goes then.

    I have an arse fetish. It's more than just a bloke's normal appreciation for the female derrier, this goes much deeper. I much prefer anal and rimming to vaginal and cunnylinging. If I'm at work (or anywhere really) and a good looking woman leans forward or crouches down, my eyes go right down the back of her trousers, in fact I go right out of my way to have a letch.

    If a nice woman is wearing white trousers and you can see her arse, I'll be following her all around town just so I can perv.

    I'd happily go out with a plain (or even ugly) woman as long as she's got a nice arse.

    I know there's nothing wrong with all this is it was kept within the confines of a relationship but that's the problem - it's not. It affects my public behaviour and how I've managed not to get arrested is beyond me. Basically I think I'm becoming (or already am?) a sex pest and I really don't want to be like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Bar Stud wrote: »
    OK here goes then.

    I have an arse fetish. It's more than just a bloke's normal appreciation for the female derrier, this goes much deeper. I much prefer anal and rimming to vaginal and cunnylinging. If I'm at work (or anywhere really) and a good looking woman leans forward or crouches down, my eyes go right down the back of her trousers, in fact I go right out of my way to have a letch.

    If a nice woman is wearing white trousers and you can see her arse, I'll be following her all around town just so I can perv.

    I'd happily go out with a plain (or even ugly) woman as long as she's got a nice arse.

    I know there's nothing wrong with all this is it was kept within the confines of a relationship but that's the problem - it's not. It affects my public behaviour and how I've managed not to get arrested is beyond me. Basically I think I'm becoming (or already am?) a sex pest and I really don't want to be like that.

    only thing wrong is the following dude, thats just creepy, the rest aint illegal (i hope) it aint illegal to look at a chicks ass
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah - and I don't want to be creepy. I'd like to be normal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stop doin the freaky stuff then, lol. might take a while to stick but willpower probably would work
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tanman wrote: »
    stop doin the freaky stuff then, lol. might take a while to stick but willpower probably would work

    Not being funny mate but if it was as straight-forward as that then I wouldn't be queuing up for counselling.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You could electricute yourself every time you do it. Maybe you'll learn not to from the pain.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how long has it been like that for you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Bar Stud wrote: »
    OK here goes then.

    I have an arse fetish. It's more than just a bloke's normal appreciation for the female derrier, this goes much deeper. I much prefer anal and rimming to vaginal and cunnylinging. If I'm at work (or anywhere really) and a good looking woman leans forward or crouches down, my eyes go right down the back of her trousers, in fact I go right out of my way to have a letch.

    If a nice woman is wearing white trousers and you can see her arse, I'll be following her all around town just so I can perv.

    I'd happily go out with a plain (or even ugly) woman as long as she's got a nice arse.

    I know there's nothing wrong with all this is it was kept within the confines of a relationship but that's the problem - it's not. It affects my public behaviour and how I've managed not to get arrested is beyond me. Basically I think I'm becoming (or already am?) a sex pest and I really don't want to be like that.

    Sounds like someone needs to contact sex addicts anonymous... I won't link from here but google it dude...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Bar Stud wrote: »
    Yeah - and I don't want to be creepy. I'd like to be normal.


    Which is one of the first steps. You accept you have a problem all you need to do now is ask for help from th eright people... much like any other addiction.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    how long has it been like that for you?

    For a good 10 years or so. It's got worse and I've gotten older.
    Man of Kent wrote:
    Which is one of the first steps. You accept you have a problem all you need to do now is ask for help from th eright people... much like any other addiction.

    I'd be an idiot if I couldn't see I have a problem. The only thing is it's taking ages to see someone and I can't afford to pay privately.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i wish you luck and strength in overcoming this
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Bar Stud wrote: »
    I'd be an idiot if I couldn't see I have a problem.

    You'd be surprised though, many people wouldn't.
    The only thing is it's taking ages to see someone and I can't afford to pay privately.

    SAA is free (as an Addicts Anonymous group is) although they don't have meetings everywhere. Be worth looking on t'internet to see what other options you have. Mental Health services in this area aren't the best because it's usually only availble after you have gone "too far" in your interests.

    Really, I wish you good luck. Wish I could help more but I just don't have the background.
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