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There are no such things as friends in my life
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
:crying: I don't have any friends in my life. Im always there for them, they are never there for me. That is not what a friend is. I arranged to go out with a couple of people this weekend (a 'friend' and her boyfriend and his friend) many months ago for a trip to london. This obviously involved buying train tickets. I bought the tickets for everyone (with them paying me back the day we were meant to go). Then today they say they now can't make it as the one with the boyfriend says he has just passes his driving test, so they'd rather spend it driving around the place this weekend.
I wouldn't have minded if they didn't ask me to get the tickets for them or if they had cancelled weeks back. But they didn't. They'd rather be with their boyfriend who they always moan to me and ask advice on what to do to drive aimlessly around the place than go to where they had arranged to go with me for the day. After all the help i have given them and advice and always being there for them.
So i have no friends, no one is ever there for me, everyone just lets me down and no one says sorry. Im giving up arranging things or talking to people now, same with doing them favours and being nice and helping them out, whats the point when tno one is a friend back. Im better off alone, at least then i know its only myself i have to rely on, seeing as no one else can be relied on.:crying:
I wouldn't have minded if they didn't ask me to get the tickets for them or if they had cancelled weeks back. But they didn't. They'd rather be with their boyfriend who they always moan to me and ask advice on what to do to drive aimlessly around the place than go to where they had arranged to go with me for the day. After all the help i have given them and advice and always being there for them.
So i have no friends, no one is ever there for me, everyone just lets me down and no one says sorry. Im giving up arranging things or talking to people now, same with doing them favours and being nice and helping them out, whats the point when tno one is a friend back. Im better off alone, at least then i know its only myself i have to rely on, seeing as no one else can be relied on.:crying:
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Nothing wrong with being alone just try not to allow it to overcome you. If you put yourself out there a bit you might find you get something good out of life. As everyone knows, living is like having a lottery ticket, some days you the jackpot winner and others you're the loser. At least cash in your ticket and try dude!!
Failing that just be sad and bitter and make others the same
Not that you should ditch the old ones, but expanding your social circle is a good idea. It'll make you less "available" for the friends you've got at the moment, and they might take you less for granted.
I'm dead soft too and don't like hassling people for money they owe me or that, but it's best you get it back from them because that is cheeky as fuck.
Growing your circle of friends is hard, when you realise most people are totally selfish, lazy and like the last person you met...or exactly like yourself, and its bad enough being around yourself 24/7 let alone someone else too.
Neither is it healthy to approach people thinking they're all "selfish, lazy and like the last person you met". No wonder you have trouble making friends. Nobody wants to be around someone who's completely cynical about other people. I sure as hell wouldn't want to befriend someone who considered me lazy and useless. Now, don't get me wrong - I've had my share of crap friends. There were loads of the buggers, who I've lost touch with along the way. Whilst no one is saying you should trust anyone and anything, you've got to give it a chance, no matter if you've been hurt before. Your incredibly negative view of human nature is a serious obstacle which needs to be dealt with.
I used to be exactly like you too,sitting around full of self pity and hating myself and everyone else who I always got ditched for.Eventually you have to realise that you need to stand up for yourself and let people know when your not happy.If you set boundaries for yourself about what you will and wont tolerate from people you`ll start to feel better and stronger and people will begin to give you more respect.Self pity and feeling sorry for yourself will do you no good and will put people off wanting to get to know you.
As for meeting new people you need to approach them not to try and make friends right away just to talk and see if you want to get to know them more.I talk to loads of people and the ones Im not keen on or bring me down I try to avoid.
Rubberskin took up cruising!
Seriously though, that is a great idea. You will, sooner or later, meet up with like-minded people and have a friendship based on genuine shared interests rather than superficial types who treat others with little respect.
Exactly.
And then go find some mates who won't take advantage of your niceness.
Whenever i stop and think about it, which i try not to do too often, it really bothers me. And it's not so easy to expand a social circle i don't think - some people seem to be good at picking up mates in pubs, i'm not a pub/club person and i find it very hard to meet people... my major interests don't seem to be good meeting grounds, for example choral singing (entirely populated by the over 60's, nothing wrong with that but i'd so love to have a female friend my own age who doesn't live 100 miles away!) and horse riding where learner adults are few and far between.
It might also be that you are more sensitive than average to these "rejections" - other people might not give it a second thought, and thus don't realise how upsetting it is for you. I'd love to be proved wrong, but i do believe that sensitive and thoughtful people are in the minority in this world, and those of us who are more sensitive have to find a way of making peace with that without feeling either persecuted or superior!