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When does it become two-timing?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I've been single for years but in the last week I've found myself in the incredibly lucky situation of having two girls chasing me. I like them both but I'm starting to feel guilty about the situation and how to take it forward.

I met the first girl at the Isle of Wight festival last weekend. We met up each day and slept together on the final night, although we didn't have sex because she had a long term boyfriend. When we got back she told me she had broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to see me, so I arranged to meet her again tomorrow.

I went out on Friday and ran into with this other girl who I'd met a few months ago and we'd flirted then. Problem is she is the girlfriend of one of my Brother's workmates! Although I don't know him well he's always been friendly to me but he doesn't respect his girlfriend so she's thinking of breaking up with him. He was with us that night. Anyway we flirted for a bit in the pub while he wasn't looking, and after she left she started texting me saying she liked me and wanted to see me again. Well we met up the next day at a barbecue and we went out into town without her boyfriend this time, one thing lead to another and we slept together. We've met again since and I basically told her we shouldn't do anything more unless/until she splits up with him.

So now I've got to meet up with the first girl tomorrow having just slept with someone else. In all likelihood I'll end up sleeping with her as well. I'm just wondering how I should play this. I'm feeling guilty by not telling them both the full situation, and I'm sure that feeling will grow every time I meet them, but I doubt either would react very well if I did.

I could see myself with either of them. Their personalities are both perfect. I've already told the first girl all my most embarrassing stuff so I feel completely at ease with her. The second girl is closer to my age and better looking but she doesn't realise how beautiful she is and has always been treated badly in the past and I'm one of those guys who likes to take care of girls so that aspect is very attractive to me too.

I don't think I've done anything wrong YET because I am still single and neither of them were in a position to commit, but how far should I take things before I have to do the right thing? And how am I going to break the news to them without looking like a right bastard? What if the second girl breaks up with her boyfriend for me and I haven't told her about the first girl?!

And why did I have to wait for years only for 2 to come along at once and screw my head up again?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't fret! I was in exactly the same situation as you a while ago. As soon as I felt either of the guys were getting feelings for me, or I was getting feelings for them, I ended it and became entirely faithful to the one I began a relationship with. Just make sure no-one gets hurt, yourself included.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id go for the first one because she has the added benefit that she actually FINISHED with her boyfriend before having sex with someone else. Thats a positive trait.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id go for the first one because she has the added benefit that she actually FINISHED with her boyfriend before having sex with someone else. Thats a positive trait.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speaking neutrally, I'd say go for the first one because if the second one is happy to shag you without chucking her bf then she's likely to cheat on you too. She certainly isn't too interested in commitment if she's shagging around whilst has a bf, and I don't believe the "she was treated badly" shite because she doesn't seem to be treating her bf with too much respect.

    To answer your question, it becomes two-timing when you commit to someone, and commitment doesn't mean wedding bells, it means promising something to someone (such as being a bf when they dump their bf).

    If you're feeling guilty its probably because you're in the wrong, tbh, and you should be looking to choose sooner rather than later. The first girl sounds a better bet, but the fact that you are eulogising the second one's looks and using her "bad treatment" as justification for her disgusting behaviour makes me think you want her more.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I decided to go with the first girl and told the other I couldn't see her any more. The advice did help. Thanks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bloody hell, women are like London buses sometimes :)

    First one sounds a better option. She's single and you don't run the risk of pissing off a mate big time. Depending on how serious they were, if he found out, you would be in moderate to big fucking trouble. I'd personally go for the second one, she sounds a lot nicer.

    Hope it all turns out well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its a rule that anyone who wants to cheat on their OH says 'Ive been treated badly' or some crap to try to justify it. Werent fulfilling their needs.

    Sorry, rage moment. I'd say erm, which one do you like more? Maybe see them casually i.e. not having sex with them but having lunch, hanging out etc like friends, and whoever you really fancy go out with them.

    And you have done something wrong, you've slept with someone in a relationship!
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