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Left the ex last year, then this!! i feel awful!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi everyone, I am new to this board and was wondering if anyone can shed some light or thoughts my way.
I left my ex last year, twice...in March, Sept and a few times we were together within the 9 month relationship. It was very up and down. I loved him dearly, very much in fact and it was very intense, passionate and somewhat wonderful at times, the other times were moody, arguementative and spiteful with our words.
One year on, we both havent contacted, but one year on there isnt a day I cant get him out of my head. I have dated, and dated and enjoyed myself and tried to get over him or get him out of my head but here I am just moving on when he adds me to his msn messenger.
He has never used hotmail before, when he comes online the first 3 weeks he never talks to me until yesterday. Every Sat we are on at the same time.
So, yesterday there he was, said hello trouble how are things. I replied with things are good, parents are well etc, then he replied with he is good but his dog died this year and one of his best mates died too and hasnt been a good year but other than that he is fine and well. Just as I was downstairs grabbing my drink,he logs off but adds, he is fine, worst year he has had, he said I look like I am glowing and look good (photo of my on msn) and take care x
I didnt have a chance to reply and just emailed him back with sorry to hear and thanks for the compliment, and take care...best regards...etc
Since then, my thoughts have come flooding back, annoyed because that was it, nothing else, no conversation and he just flies off and logs off as if that is all he had to tell me. For what reason I dont know.
When I left him last year, he said I would never get anyone better than him, took all stuff back from me, and cried and from both sides it was awful. Now this??
So now I am left somewhat upset, confused and muddled, which isnt like me considering i FEEL I have got over it but then maybe the feelings are still there, I dont know
pls help, I wouldnt call him or email him as he has a new partner now as my brother's partner saw him out with her....a few months back so I wouldnt interfere. I havent wanted to contact him out of fear, and a few people have said its like unfinished business but after this contact he ends it quite strongly over email as in...good bye, etc....:chin: very strange indeed.
Thanks for reading, hope you can shed some light
xx
I left my ex last year, twice...in March, Sept and a few times we were together within the 9 month relationship. It was very up and down. I loved him dearly, very much in fact and it was very intense, passionate and somewhat wonderful at times, the other times were moody, arguementative and spiteful with our words.
One year on, we both havent contacted, but one year on there isnt a day I cant get him out of my head. I have dated, and dated and enjoyed myself and tried to get over him or get him out of my head but here I am just moving on when he adds me to his msn messenger.
He has never used hotmail before, when he comes online the first 3 weeks he never talks to me until yesterday. Every Sat we are on at the same time.
So, yesterday there he was, said hello trouble how are things. I replied with things are good, parents are well etc, then he replied with he is good but his dog died this year and one of his best mates died too and hasnt been a good year but other than that he is fine and well. Just as I was downstairs grabbing my drink,he logs off but adds, he is fine, worst year he has had, he said I look like I am glowing and look good (photo of my on msn) and take care x
I didnt have a chance to reply and just emailed him back with sorry to hear and thanks for the compliment, and take care...best regards...etc
Since then, my thoughts have come flooding back, annoyed because that was it, nothing else, no conversation and he just flies off and logs off as if that is all he had to tell me. For what reason I dont know.
When I left him last year, he said I would never get anyone better than him, took all stuff back from me, and cried and from both sides it was awful. Now this??
So now I am left somewhat upset, confused and muddled, which isnt like me considering i FEEL I have got over it but then maybe the feelings are still there, I dont know
pls help, I wouldnt call him or email him as he has a new partner now as my brother's partner saw him out with her....a few months back so I wouldnt interfere. I havent wanted to contact him out of fear, and a few people have said its like unfinished business but after this contact he ends it quite strongly over email as in...good bye, etc....:chin: very strange indeed.
Thanks for reading, hope you can shed some light
xx
0
Comments
However, the downside with this situation is that I'd had to do this to find out the outcome to avoid it in future, perhaps you'll need to do the same?
People seem to forget when they break up with someone that they got on fine in life without knowing their ex before they were with them, they are more than capable to do it again.
:yes:
But after you've been with someone, especially for a long time, your feelings and perspective change, and after you break up I don't think you can revert back to the same mentality you had before they came along.
Jojo, you sound like you have done a good job of putting your feelings for this guy to one side and trying to move on with your life (eg. dating and going out enjoying yourself etc) But I don't think feelings for someone ever vanish completely, although they can be ignored or fade with time.
I know what you mean about unfinished business as well; I haven't spoken to my ex for about a year, and while I would like to patch things up and just be friends now, I wonder if it's not easier just to let sleeping dogs lie?
As for what to do now, maybe the answer is nothing? He suddenly initiated talking to you, then ended it just as suddenly. He has a new gf; maybe it was just a form of closure for him? If he msns you again, you can reply and be polite if you want, but you sound like you already are over him and that talking at length again might stir up feelings you'd rather leave behind.
Of course, but like I said she'll need to make these mistakes before she realises that what I'm saying is true just like I did.
This is true, plus once you get in the cycle of texting every so often then it'll make it worse.
You need to be strong and decide what you want, and also whether you think it'd ever work between you again and whether the reasons you split up still exist. None of us know your relationship as well as you do, but it does sound like it's either all or nothing with this guy - friends isn't really an option.
I do know what you're going through, really hard when you love somebody lots but things are just so confusing and stuff. Hope it works out anyway.
I know its always hard to make that choice, and thanks for your answers, really its a great help! like you said I need to learn from my mistakes or more like experiences shall we say before it happens again, but one thing I do know is that everytime he gets in contact, Its like someone has punched me in the stomach!! so surely that isnt a good sign, which makes me have my doubts re him!!
hmmm, he is deleted and I guess that says it all really, I have started to think more positively and lo and behold going out more and erm...dating...or at least trying to get my life back in order!
thanks again
joxx