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Should I ditch this guy?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
The guy Ive been dating for about a month are from different ethnic backgrounds with me being black and himself white. I have no problem with this because some of my family members are in an interracial relationship and i have never been against interrracial couples. Yesterday I met him and we got into a heated discussion nearly an argument about race, regarding his family occasionally using racist language and him defending them saying that it was tolerated from where he's from, and you cant really change them (which I agreed to). But then he also told me that dark skinned black girls were less attractive than light skinned girls which shocked me as Im dark skinned myself, when he saw my reaction he stated that I was an exception because I don't look like the typical ones.
I really like him and I understand because of his family he might have adopted their views but to be honest is it worth staying with him, I also got chatted up by a really good looking black guy the other day and he gave me his number, so I was thinking I should go out with him as it is less complicated. Am I wrong to think like this?:confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He sounds a bit of a nob but it's not about him being white.

    A relationship with a black guy is not necessarily going to be any less complicated.

    Hmmm personally I've been going out with a guy who is mixed race for 6 months and it's never really been an issue.

    How did you get into that conversation in the first place? He sounds pretty uneducated tbh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What kind of racist remarks are we talking about from his family? My nana says things like 'let's get a chinky for dinner' or 'I went to the paki (shop) round the corner' and while I would see these things as racist in someone of my own generation, my nana's nearly 80 and would never mean to be saying anything racist- in fact I think she'd be shocked if we suggested those words were inappropriate. So I view that as more of a generational thing- instead of being racist remarks, they're just words- exactly the same as if she said 'a Chinese' or 'the shop run by the Pakistani couple'.

    I do think his excuse that the way his parents talk is tolerated round where he lives is absolute gash, to be honest. Would he be happy if you told him that where you live prejudice against those with (insert some characteristic of boyfriend and boyfriend's family here) ____ is tolerated? I think not.

    Also what on earth does "the typical ones" mean? Maybe it's not exactly a racist thing to say, but it's a pretty stupid thing to say.

    I don't think that relationships between people of the same race are easier, but a relationship with someone other than this guy might be easier. Only you can decide I suppose whether you're comfortable with the way he and his family talk about black people. I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with what he said. Maybe talk to him about it again, and try not to get into an argument and try and see what his views really are, and whether you're cool with his thinking or not.
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