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upset
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I keep getting upset lately and crying. I have the phrase 'I want to die' going around in my head when realistically I dont want to die, just hibernate until everything is over.
I'm stressed because of the STI scare (which I find out the results for next week). At the moment I feel dirty and not worth anything.
Idiotic old man at college recently called my friend a 'wanker' for no reason before she was due to take an important exam and so I went with her to tell our tutor who suggested she take a quiet moment to say to Idiotic old man that she doesnt appreciate being called a wanker. To which he went off in one and called her a wanker again in front of my tutor.
I like my tutor but what shit advice. It is pretty much over the certainty mark that everyone would not like being called a wanker for no reason if it wasn't meant in jest. Idiotic old man participated in the afternoon lesson smiling and contributing without a care in the world. As a result I'm very very angry. At the begining of the lesson I was shaking and trying not to show it. It is incredibly difficult to do. I'm supposed to act like I don't care but as a fully fledged weakling I can't.
I feel disgusting when I look at him and think back to the elevator incident when he was close upto me and subtley brushed my boobs as it was going down and I have to sit in a classroom with this man and pretend nothing happened and if he makes me feel uncomfortable again. My suggested rebuke is to put my hand up and say 'this makes me feel uncomfortable'. Well here's an idea for my college. As he appears to be harassing every 20 year old female within the class
1) Chuck him off the course (even though it is nearly over I dont actually give a shit)
2) Tell his future university (MY future university) that he's a weirdo so that it doesnt happen to other girls..This time 17 year old ones who have just left home for the first time cuz he luuuurves shy and meek girls.
My boyfriend is depressed at the moment because of an ongoing virus and the stress of his PhD. As a result can't seem to handle how I am feeling. I keep accusing him of not giving a shit which is pushing him further away and pretty soon I'm gonna get D-U-M-P-E-D
I dont mean to sound aggressive in this post. I'm just angry/upset. Every negative feeling you can get really. If someone replies then thanks but I know there are no miracle cures. I'm going to see my tutor tomorrow and say in plain terms that I dont feel safe with him in the classroom and want him out or I go.
I've made some really good friends but this experience of sexual harassment has blotted all of that out. This is gonna be my main memory of returning to education.
I'm stressed because of the STI scare (which I find out the results for next week). At the moment I feel dirty and not worth anything.
Idiotic old man at college recently called my friend a 'wanker' for no reason before she was due to take an important exam and so I went with her to tell our tutor who suggested she take a quiet moment to say to Idiotic old man that she doesnt appreciate being called a wanker. To which he went off in one and called her a wanker again in front of my tutor.
I like my tutor but what shit advice. It is pretty much over the certainty mark that everyone would not like being called a wanker for no reason if it wasn't meant in jest. Idiotic old man participated in the afternoon lesson smiling and contributing without a care in the world. As a result I'm very very angry. At the begining of the lesson I was shaking and trying not to show it. It is incredibly difficult to do. I'm supposed to act like I don't care but as a fully fledged weakling I can't.
I feel disgusting when I look at him and think back to the elevator incident when he was close upto me and subtley brushed my boobs as it was going down and I have to sit in a classroom with this man and pretend nothing happened and if he makes me feel uncomfortable again. My suggested rebuke is to put my hand up and say 'this makes me feel uncomfortable'. Well here's an idea for my college. As he appears to be harassing every 20 year old female within the class
1) Chuck him off the course (even though it is nearly over I dont actually give a shit)
2) Tell his future university (MY future university) that he's a weirdo so that it doesnt happen to other girls..This time 17 year old ones who have just left home for the first time cuz he luuuurves shy and meek girls.
My boyfriend is depressed at the moment because of an ongoing virus and the stress of his PhD. As a result can't seem to handle how I am feeling. I keep accusing him of not giving a shit which is pushing him further away and pretty soon I'm gonna get D-U-M-P-E-D
I dont mean to sound aggressive in this post. I'm just angry/upset. Every negative feeling you can get really. If someone replies then thanks but I know there are no miracle cures. I'm going to see my tutor tomorrow and say in plain terms that I dont feel safe with him in the classroom and want him out or I go.
I've made some really good friends but this experience of sexual harassment has blotted all of that out. This is gonna be my main memory of returning to education.
0
Comments
I understand how frustrating this must be for you. My friend had an experience of sexual harrassment at work and although the guy responsible got fired, it badly affected her.
With regards to this man on your course it sounds horrible what he is doing to you (I had a read over some of your previous posts. How long have you got until you finish? Keep telling your tutor how much he is upsetting not just you and other people. Be persistant it isn't right what he's doing and at the moment he seems to be getting away with it. You're doing all the right things at the moment from what I can tell so just keep on doing them until someone takes notice.
Have a talk with your boyfriend. Let him now that you care for him but at the same time you need his support too. Have you told him about the guy on your course? Does the guy on your course know you have a boyfriend. Maybe if he could see him he would back off a bit?
My boyfriend works on campus doing his PhD and we met up for lunch today. Before we went back to lessons we were yards from him while idiot man was sitting on a bench with other members of my class chatting and joking. I thought my boyfriend would at least glare at idiot man but no, nothing. He looked perfectly comfortable standing near idiot man while I obviously wasn't. I mentioned it to him today and he said that he doesn't show his emotions and isn't going to go straight up and batter him. I just feel like I cant find in him because he acts like he doesn't care anyway and for example twenty minutes ago I texted asking him to come on msn if he's free because I feel down and want a chat. He texted back saying he is on World of Warcraft and his brother in law is in the room with him (who is very nosey) so he couldnt go on MSN for a decent chat with him there. But it makes me think that if he had texted me saying he was upset I would either chuck the brother in the law out of the room, get off of World of Warcraft or as an alternative just ring me up to see if I'm okay. It makes me angry because he isn't being the perfect boyfriend I suppose.
We finish college on June 25th and part of me is happy but the other part is angry because idiot man is just going to walk away from this and into the university where I will be.
One of the awful things about this situation is that idiot man is not going to be feeling anyway near as bad as you are about this.
Your tutor has a duty of care for you on campus surely? Perhaps you could speak to someone over their head?
To get the most out of your course and feel in a place to go back there for your degree you are going to have to let go of it a bit, whether by a result of him leaving, or you just letting it slide. I think the later is most likely and though it's annoying and unfair, will be the best thing for you ultimatly. It's shit that your boyf isn't being emotionally supportive, at least not in the way where you feel 'protected' or at least is sensitive to how much it's getting to you. There is bound to be an on campus counsilor type persony-bob, perhaps you and one of the other young chicas you're now friends with could go and talk it over with them, get it off your chest and hopefully get some better advice on how to deal with him.
Perhaps making it more obvious to your oblivious bf that this guy is bothering you is a good idea.
ORRRR
Get a new bf, a bigger one, who has a nasty side. then dump him after the problem is sorted