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How do you ask parents for money towards your wedding?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi,
recently got engaged and really happy. been planning the wedding coz im so excited but cant plan a date as yet because both me and my fiance have major things going on with doing up our house and i need a job coz i left uni.
also the one thing thats stopping us making a date is what budget we will have... its really differecult to say to my parents "how much money can you pay for my wedding" i know its traditional for the brides parents to pay but there retired and im feel guilty asking them to pay for things.
ive seen a dream dress i really really like (for £599) and im not sure whos going to pay for it...should i save up and pay for it or ask my parents?
and i dont know how to ask them!
recently got engaged and really happy. been planning the wedding coz im so excited but cant plan a date as yet because both me and my fiance have major things going on with doing up our house and i need a job coz i left uni.
also the one thing thats stopping us making a date is what budget we will have... its really differecult to say to my parents "how much money can you pay for my wedding" i know its traditional for the brides parents to pay but there retired and im feel guilty asking them to pay for things.
ive seen a dream dress i really really like (for £599) and im not sure whos going to pay for it...should i save up and pay for it or ask my parents?
and i dont know how to ask them!
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Comments
I think the brides parents paying for everything is an outdated tradition in this day and age.
they said they would contribute but its hard to ask for an actually figure from them and what they would like to pay for......
yeah me and partner could pay for bits couldnt afford all of it tho
Then take them to see the crappy venue you can afford and b - the fabulos venue you could have with them contributing - well it worked for me - my mother fell in love with the nicer venue and insisted that i have the whole wedding there with the parents paying the difference.
uggghh i dunno - ask them if instead of a wedding present they could buy you the dress?
They might *want* to pay for it I think you just have to ask what thier views are - but I definately wouldnt' go in with the I want you to spend £40k on my wedding kind of an attitude..... i'm sure you don't but i know people who do
She found out 4 weeks before the big day that they werent! Oh how I laughed.
Ahahahah thats hillarious - what on earth did she do?
My parents unsuprisingly tackled my whole wedding a bit like a work project with monthly budget reviews - fun fun fun
i just want a nice day
yeh couldnt even think of 7k on a dress... do u end up selling yours or keeping it?
well i saw the same dress in another town for £700 and in a local town near my parents for £599 so i was quite happy.
and its a huge princess dress!
my mum said before she saw the dress....... why cant u get one out of a charity shop?
But yes its your day and you should definately get the dress that you like - the most important thing is that you feel special and beautiful. I would definately say spend the money on the dress even if your parents won't pay for it and then save money elsewhere - like on flowers or something.
I had a dress specially made for me from scratch so i'm never giving it away ever - but my friends and i plan to have a wedding dress party where we all put on our wedding dresses once every 5 years and feel special.
My mum paid for bits and pieces with mine, as did my nana and various family members helped out with different things so it was all as cheap as possible.
:yes:
I wouldn't ask them myself, but if then did offer then I would accept their offer.
It was all so stupid though because her and her husband bring home about 10k between them each month so they could've easily afforded to pay for it on their own had they saved for a few months.
I feel that in this day in age it is an unfair presumption that the parents should pay... if they offer on the other hand, that's fair enough. As your parents have mentioned they would like to contribute then I don't think it is bad of you to ask how much. Perhaps compile a sheet of approximate costs and take it over to them. That way they could choose what they would like to pay towards.
My Mum wanted to contribute by paying for my wedding dress and she made that very clear from the start... mine was a similar price to yours which is very reasonable for a wedding dress!!
Perhaps you could find jobs for them to do that would save you money... can either your Mum or Mother-in-Law to be sew? My MIL made all the bridesmaids wraps for example. You could also save money on the favours this way.
If you find that their contribution wouldn't help you achieve the budget you need I would say either choose to downscale your wedding or wait a couple more years and save up!
i think i might take my parents to venues , im going back to the shop with the dress in end of july with my bridesmaid and my mum wants to come again so i might ask her before then what she wants to do. i could put the depoist on the dress before finding a venue or setting a date it takes 6 months to get to the shop for some reason? or is that not a good idea? it maybe next year or the year after the wedding anyway! we loads to do with the house being a building site at the moment
i think they want to do one last thing for me which is fair enough its there choice, im greatful for there help and i will take it.
also there very old i want a wedding soon then later.