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Moving in to his house
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm currently weighing up whether to move in full time with my other half. I'm (apparently!) always welcome at my parents house, where I live now, so it's not necessarily a permanent thing, just convenient for the time being as I'm there most of the time anyway! (I'm not 100% where this relationship is going to be truthful..)
He already has a mortgage etc etc. My name isn't going to go on anything official but I will of course pay towards the bills and stuff (which will make it easier for him, money wise).
Has anyone got any experience of moving in with a bf/gf when it's their house you're moving into? Pros and cons?
Thanks!
He already has a mortgage etc etc. My name isn't going to go on anything official but I will of course pay towards the bills and stuff (which will make it easier for him, money wise).
Has anyone got any experience of moving in with a bf/gf when it's their house you're moving into? Pros and cons?
Thanks!
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Comments
Anyway, you say you're not sure about this relationship- what do you mean? Obviously moving in together is a big step and can make or break relationships. How long have you been together? If you're not sure you're gonna be together much longer, it may not be worth the hassle, but on the other hand it could be a practice run for the real thing. erm- hope that helps
I'm speaking from experience, I moved into my ex's flat, I didn't pay towards the rent but I bought loads of bits and bobs for the place, decorated it, paid for electric, etc. But when we broke up it was ME that was homeless as it was his place and I had never thought to have my name put on anything official.
I know it's easy to get caught up in things but you've got to be practical. That's my advice anyway.
Moving in may sound great but the reality is often less so...obviously it depends on the people involved but I find it gets boring to have someone around all the time, relationships thrive on space and having your own time and life.
Oh so very true. Someone once said 'that you truly can't get under someone's skin until you live with them'.
Things were helped a bit with me and Leigh as we were seeing each other at each others houses then got this place together, sort of fresh and new and neither of us were encroaching on the others territory.
You'll need to be prepared for some give and take on both sides and letting the better person do the most suited job. Like Leigh does the dusting and then vacuums, which used to really annoy me as stuff gets dusty again but then i realised there's no point moaning over it as everything's cleaner than it was so why bother getting upset over it.
Likewise with the household jobs. I'm a much better cook than Leigh, and i really enjoy cooking, so i do it all. He's much better at mopping than me (i just end up with a streaky floor and pools of hairy water in the corners
Hope everything works out Crystal
However, I find that we're much better as a couple living together than we were as living apart. You learn so much about eachother.
I haven't really got much to add to what's already been said - I'd just like to echo the point that it's rarely plain sailing, particularly if there are doubts about the direction the relationship is going.
TheSite's article move in or move on also highlights some useful factors to consider.
I hope you make the decision that's right for you.
It was nice to see things of mine appear around the place whether it be my dvd player, stereo etc but I still didn't really feel like it was mine...
After a year or so we sorted out the mortgage, put my name on it and took some money out against the property. We then worked our way through the flat completely renovating/decorating... at the end of it I knew it was 'our' flat rather than 'his'.
We then sold up and moved into a house last November... it was lovely to start again somewhere together but I know we had to go through what we did at the flat to allow us to be in the lucky position of moving...
He always makes comments about me 'falling onto the property ladder' - which is true to be honest... it is so difficult nowadays for first time buyers, so in a way it was a great life choice for me to move in...
I would say though that if you don't think your relationship has legs then it is a huge undertaking that may not be worthwhile in hindsight!
But...living in someone else's house is hard. My ex rented privately so he dind't own the place, but it was his ex that had found the house for him and persuaded him to move into it with her. I was very aware of that and what made it worse was they'd been given a lot of stuff by her parents which my ex then kept when they split up. The bed, most of the mugs, some ornaments, a sleeping bag phil used to use when he couldn't be bothered to come upstairs to bed were all hers and even the cat was one that Phil and Nic bought together.
They were only little things but it was like having a constant reminder of Nicola (the ex) around. I'm not hugely jealous but it was hard.
Yeah, i was having a conversation with my boyfriend recently and he said that when we first moved in together he thought he'd made a massive mistake. Luckily we got through it!
It can be difficult but ultimately worth it. You just have to make sure that it's 100% right, because it is quite hard to start with, and if you've got any doubts then it's gonna be horrible.