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Jokes You've Made Up From Scratch

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
Who's the leader of the pubic hairs??

























































President Bush!!!!! lololololololol
:D:D

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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Not any good ones... When I was about 10, I made up a joke about a robot going to buy chips (what crisps are called here) and then complaining about them not being suitable for his circuits. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indrid Cold wrote: »
    Not any good ones... When I was about 10, I made up a joke about a robot going to buy chips (what crisps are called here) and then complaining about them not being suitable for his circuits. :p

    Haha
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What goes black-white-black-white-black-white THUD ?

    My cat when she fell down the stairs this morning :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A man walked into a bar........



    Ouch.


    I always thought I made that one up, but have been told I didn't :(
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Dobbin wrote: »
    A man walked into a bar........



    Ouch.


    I always thought I made that one up, but have been told I didn't :(
    Maybe you did. The fact that someone else made it up too doesn't mean you haven't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you get when you cross Gary Glitter and a donkey?

    An ass raping. Woop woop!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Half of those blatently aren't made up!!

    Heres mine, made up so apologies if it's shit!


    Knock Knock...




    Who's there?




    Doctor...




    Doctor Who?




    Doctor Shipman, time for your medication love...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I made up my first ever joke when I was about 4... it went 'Why did the chicken cross the road...

    ... because it did'


    I didn't quite understand jokes. :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A couple from the panto I wrote that probably aren't as original as I think...

    Ugly Sister 1: What sort of sausages did you buy?
    Ugly Sister 2: Venison sausages.
    1: Aren't they deer?
    2: No, comparatively cheap, if you know where to look.

    1: Where have you been?
    2: I went for a walk on Hampstead Heath.
    1: Did you find the gypsy camp?
    2: No, I found him rather butch, actually. It was intense.
    1: In tents? I thought they did it in caravans...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not a joke but in primary school i wore glasses (with the sticker still attached to the lense :blush: ) cuz i really wanted someone to call me four eyes because i thought i had the PERFECT comeback line which consisted of 'well you must be the one who needs glasses cuz i have TWO eyes not FOUR' i was really really strange
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    not a joke but in primary school i wore glasses (with the sticker still attached to the lense :blush: ) cuz i really wanted someone to call me four eyes because i thought i had the PERFECT comeback line which consisted of 'well you must be the one who needs glasses cuz i have TWO eyes not FOUR' i was really really strange

    That reminds me of the comeback to someone saying 'what did your last slave die of?'
    Which was 'I killed them because the wouldn't do what I said.'

    Ha. ha. ha. :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not a joke exactly, more of a prank I played on a friend. We were in the pub and I told her if she sniffed her fingers, told a lie and then sniffed them again she would smell the difference in her galvanic skin response because it smells more metally.

    Worked a treat and was made a million times better by the fact that the lie my friend chose to tell was "I'm a lesbian!" Shouting that out loud and sniffing her fingers in the middle of the pub. Hillarious. She didn't realise she'd been had and was like "Why isn't it working?" so I told her to keep trying and give it a chance to change. Which she did.

    We were wetting ourselves laughing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    piccolo wrote: »
    A couple from the panto I wrote that probably aren't as original as I think...

    Ugly Sister 1: What sort of sausages did you buy?
    Ugly Sister 2: Venison sausages.
    1: Aren't they deer?
    2: No, comparatively cheap, if you know where to look.

    1: Where have you been?
    2: I went for a walk on Hampstead Heath.
    1: Did you find the gypsy camp?
    2: No, I found him rather butch, actually. It was intense.
    1: In tents? I thought they did it in caravans...

    What sort of depraved panto is this!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It was all good 'clean' fun.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Lu_C wrote: »
    I made up my first ever joke when I was about 4... it went 'Why did the chicken cross the road...

    ... because it did'


    I didn't quite understand jokes. :blush:
    Nor did a cousin of mine, at about the same age. She told me she'd tell me a joke and then said "A man walks on the pavement, steps on a banana skin and falls". :D

    That's still better than the joke my mum says I was telling people when I was 2-3: "Apricot".
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    bunglenutter wrote: »
    What do you call a person who used to live in Crete?

    An excretion.




    What do you call a prostitute that won't stop complaining?

    A hormone.
    :lol: :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indrid Cold wrote: »
    Maybe you did. The fact that someone else made it up too doesn't mean you haven't.

    *gets psychological on your ass* That would constitute personal as opposed to historic creativity. A distinction made by Bodon I believe.:p

    Historic creativity is the formation of an idea completely new to humanity, such as Newton and gravity, whereas personal creativity is the formation of an idea new to the individual, but not novel to humanity.


    /nerd
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    amnesia wrote: »
    *gets psychological on your ass* That would constitute personal as opposed to historic creativity. A distinction made by Bodon I believe.:p

    Historic creativity is the formation of an idea completely new to humanity, such as Newton and gravity, whereas personal creativity is the formation of an idea new to the individual, but not novel to humanity.


    /nerd
    Agreed. Though you have to define "new to humanity too", because who is to say that someone didn't realise gravity before Newton did, when they saw a huge boulder falling straight on them? :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Indeed. Take it up with Bodon et al :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My favourite when I was abput 4 was:

    Knock Knock

    Who's there?

    A man

    A man who?

    A man who wants some milk stuck up his nose

    I think I believed that if you got the structure right, it was automatically funny. Used to fall about laughing when I told that one....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I made this up when I was about 9 and was in Tesco's with my mum

    What do you call a ghost chicken?


    A Poultry-geist




    ...i think i made that up anyway.. still makes me giggle hehehe
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