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paranoid about bloke
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ever since last november when i came across some txts tht my bloke sent to another girl ive been completely paranoid he's going to cheat on me.
My bloke asked me to get a number off his phone 4 him so i went to get it but entered his msgs and saw a girls name on there, she's been after him for ages so i was suspisious, i got my bloke the number then after alot of stewing i read the txts. He told me they only started to txt each other a few days before i found the txts but i didnt believe him and sure enough his phone bills showed tht she was the most used number (over mine)
He reassured me they were just agony aunts to each other, but the fact tht she wants his c ock made me think otherwise. After asking him if he would delete her number to make me happy (as i have had to do this for him in the past) he did.
Things were ok again and i started to feel like we were going good but just recently he's been meeting up with our neighbour, going out on bike rides and round her house to tlk about "bikes".
He told me once he was going out on his bike and when he got back she was behind on her bike shouting his name and saying "do u want to come back for a drink" I asked him y he never told me he was with her and he said it was because she had seen him getting on his bike and tagged along. I had my doubts so yet again i checked his phone. He had planned the bike ride with her all along and didnt tell me.
His lies make me believe something more is going on no matter how innocent it sounds. Our relationship has been rocky recently and keeping it secret about meeting and txting other girls just makes me think he's going else where.
I found a pack of 3 condoms in the draw the other day, i swear they were never there before and there were 2 missing! He carries condoms in his wallet yet we never use them anymore. I also found a black hair on the floor (at the time mine was blonde) all these things keep playing on my mind!!!
I cant be relaxed about him meeting this woman because she has never bothered to come and say hi and gives me filthy looks even tho ive waved and invited her in for a cup of tea!!!
Im so confused right now!
My bloke asked me to get a number off his phone 4 him so i went to get it but entered his msgs and saw a girls name on there, she's been after him for ages so i was suspisious, i got my bloke the number then after alot of stewing i read the txts. He told me they only started to txt each other a few days before i found the txts but i didnt believe him and sure enough his phone bills showed tht she was the most used number (over mine)
He reassured me they were just agony aunts to each other, but the fact tht she wants his c ock made me think otherwise. After asking him if he would delete her number to make me happy (as i have had to do this for him in the past) he did.
Things were ok again and i started to feel like we were going good but just recently he's been meeting up with our neighbour, going out on bike rides and round her house to tlk about "bikes".
He told me once he was going out on his bike and when he got back she was behind on her bike shouting his name and saying "do u want to come back for a drink" I asked him y he never told me he was with her and he said it was because she had seen him getting on his bike and tagged along. I had my doubts so yet again i checked his phone. He had planned the bike ride with her all along and didnt tell me.
His lies make me believe something more is going on no matter how innocent it sounds. Our relationship has been rocky recently and keeping it secret about meeting and txting other girls just makes me think he's going else where.
I found a pack of 3 condoms in the draw the other day, i swear they were never there before and there were 2 missing! He carries condoms in his wallet yet we never use them anymore. I also found a black hair on the floor (at the time mine was blonde) all these things keep playing on my mind!!!
I cant be relaxed about him meeting this woman because she has never bothered to come and say hi and gives me filthy looks even tho ive waved and invited her in for a cup of tea!!!
Im so confused right now!
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Comments
but yea, what the others said, nothing much to add.
*snigger*
squishter, I'm really sorry to hear about this, it sounds like the situation has started to spin out of control as there really aren't many redeeming features in the situation you describe. As soon as trust starts to disappear from a relationship and you are questioning your guy's fidelity - ultimately you are questioning their whole being and whether or not they are a suitable partner. If you don't feel that you can talk to him calmly about this without it turning into a series of blazing rows, then it's likely to be tough to move forward and calling it a day may be the best option. on the other hand, only you know your relationship and whether or not it is worth fighting for.
What's interesting about snooping is that people often say they just felt a bit nosey, but is that really the case? Often there's some other reason for snooping whether it be suspicion or general insecurity about the way the relationship is going - because really it's a massive risk (not necessarily because you might find something - but more because you have crossed a boundary of trust) to take if everything has been going really well up until then. If it hasn't been going well then it's questionable whether it's even worth snooping as there are probably other issues you need to work through. But I'm not saying any of this is easy to realise at the time!
This may well be worth bearing in mind for the future.
Take care, whatever you decide
I had my doubts when our relationship got stale thts y i snooped. Later i realised he was having doubts because he wanted to move back up to the midlands to be closer to his family and he was so much under stress trying to keep things normal tht he began txting this girl for advice.
As for the motorbike lady, he has been dying to find a bike buddy for ages, it just turns out tht this one is female.
Everything kinda has an explanation after it but i cant help the urges i get to check up on him.
My dad left my mum for another woman and since then i have found it hard to trust men, I've had counselling about it and im on anti - depressants because i can sometimes let my mind make me believe things are happening when they're not.
Im pretty messed up lately and my partner remembers the old me, thts the person who he's in love with, not the person i've become. I think thts why he keeps things more personal than he sometimes would, i go off my head at him for alot of things he tells me but i also go mad when he hides things from me.
Poor bloke cant win!
I know ive kinda answered my own post but i just wanna know if im the only person the become like this? Ive also been quite violent in the past, hitting him, throwing things at him. I selfed harm for a few months but thts stopped since the anti deprssents but i did it when we argued because to me it felt wonderful at the time but the guilt of making a hideous scar was unberrible!
Hey again, no I don't think you're alone at all - lots of people go through hard times in their relationships and develop behaviours that they wish they could change. Have you thought about returning to counselling?
On the other side, you say you are still uncertain about the condoms. I don't think it would be wrong of you to mention this to your boyfriend.
Also, when a relationship goes stale - it's not unusual to panic and start to believe that you're doomed, but things can get better. You may find this article on how relationships progress, interesting. It might also help to look at ways of improving your self esteem. Take care and remember you can post about this issue as much as you like
I reacted by saying "you do that and i'll meet up with rhys" (a guy who's been trying to get into my knickers recently) It didnt go down too well.
I called my boyfriend a liar and said he lies about all the girls he talks to coz he likes the attention.
He told me he doesnt tell me coz i kick off and that im a jealous pyscho.
I have no self-asteem and confidence and seeing my partner enjoy company with other woman makes me sick to the bone, especially when we hardly get time together coz of his work commitments.
He'll be moving away for a new job next weekend and depending on how it goes it could be 6 months untill i move too. For him to be spending our last full day together on a bike ride with her instead of with me pisses me off.
Is it me or him tht cant see sense?