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Mental health appointment. Fed up.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
To be honest I don't know if it went well or not... It was a sort of assessment I think with a pyschiatrist. (sp?)
He said I was depressed but only mild (doesn't fucking feel mild when I get to the point of sobbing on my hands and knees wishing I was dead but there you go). I think he just ment because I wasn't completly suisidal and all that... He said I didn't need medication (my GP already said that to me so I wasn't expecting any anyway).
He said cos my case isn't emergancy type the 'team' of psychologists etc probably won't see my straight away but i need cognitive psychology to boost my confidence, self esteem and coping stratagies... but I have no idea what time scale we're talking about here because he then said in the mean-time I should go back to my GP and they should have a counsellor to refer me to ... my GP referred me to the mental health clinic for counselling in the first place and I don't think they have anyone else to refer me to and it'd only be yet another waiting list anyway so I'm a bit pissed off.
He also told me I should look up on the internet about living with depression and stuff to help me
And he wants me to do a blood and urine test to check if there are any other physical problems causing the depression. (oh yey! Another blood test... should have known I'd need yet another one... why don't I just live in the blood test department so they can take one every day? *sorry bit bitter*)
Basically he wants me to try and get a routine going for going to bed getting up and getting out the house and doing exersice... which wasn't much help because the whole reason I get really really bad attacks of feeling low is when I know I have to commit to something - like school and college and stuff, and I can't even exercise anymore without having abdominal pains kicking off... I'm still getting tummy pains from having a walk a couple of weeks ago!!! :mad:
And he said one of my problems was motivation, so how do I motivate myself to get into a routine to get myself motivated? (If you get me) Seems rediculous. :banghead:
Anyway, he said I should go back and see him in 3 months so I've got an appointment in June and I can ring up any time to talk to them and make an earlier appointment.
So in a way it was good because he believed that I was depressed and everything (although I have a rather annoying habbit of seeming fine on the outside and shutting off as soon as I need to talk to someone and I don't think he got quite how bad I get sometimes so now I'm kicking myself :banghead: ...) But on the other hand I'm still having to wait to be sorted out and I don't feel like I can 'get on with my life' just how it is. Part of that is needing the endo sorting out and I'm really pissed off that I have to wait till next month before I even see the specialist... my abdo pains are getting worse even though I'm on the pill back to back and I can't cope with the thought of having a break after my next packet so I'm going to ask my GP tomorrow if I can have a 5th pack which would see my through until my appointment - then at least if I am in tonnes of pain I know somethings being done about it.
Just having what a friend of mine calls a 'Lu' day. Head feels full and empty at the same time. I just wish I could wake up with a diffrent life tomorrow.
Had to have a rant, sorry.
Lu
He said I was depressed but only mild (doesn't fucking feel mild when I get to the point of sobbing on my hands and knees wishing I was dead but there you go). I think he just ment because I wasn't completly suisidal and all that... He said I didn't need medication (my GP already said that to me so I wasn't expecting any anyway).
He said cos my case isn't emergancy type the 'team' of psychologists etc probably won't see my straight away but i need cognitive psychology to boost my confidence, self esteem and coping stratagies... but I have no idea what time scale we're talking about here because he then said in the mean-time I should go back to my GP and they should have a counsellor to refer me to ... my GP referred me to the mental health clinic for counselling in the first place and I don't think they have anyone else to refer me to and it'd only be yet another waiting list anyway so I'm a bit pissed off.
He also told me I should look up on the internet about living with depression and stuff to help me
And he wants me to do a blood and urine test to check if there are any other physical problems causing the depression. (oh yey! Another blood test... should have known I'd need yet another one... why don't I just live in the blood test department so they can take one every day? *sorry bit bitter*)
Basically he wants me to try and get a routine going for going to bed getting up and getting out the house and doing exersice... which wasn't much help because the whole reason I get really really bad attacks of feeling low is when I know I have to commit to something - like school and college and stuff, and I can't even exercise anymore without having abdominal pains kicking off... I'm still getting tummy pains from having a walk a couple of weeks ago!!! :mad:
And he said one of my problems was motivation, so how do I motivate myself to get into a routine to get myself motivated? (If you get me) Seems rediculous. :banghead:
Anyway, he said I should go back and see him in 3 months so I've got an appointment in June and I can ring up any time to talk to them and make an earlier appointment.
So in a way it was good because he believed that I was depressed and everything (although I have a rather annoying habbit of seeming fine on the outside and shutting off as soon as I need to talk to someone and I don't think he got quite how bad I get sometimes so now I'm kicking myself :banghead: ...) But on the other hand I'm still having to wait to be sorted out and I don't feel like I can 'get on with my life' just how it is. Part of that is needing the endo sorting out and I'm really pissed off that I have to wait till next month before I even see the specialist... my abdo pains are getting worse even though I'm on the pill back to back and I can't cope with the thought of having a break after my next packet so I'm going to ask my GP tomorrow if I can have a 5th pack which would see my through until my appointment - then at least if I am in tonnes of pain I know somethings being done about it.
Just having what a friend of mine calls a 'Lu' day. Head feels full and empty at the same time. I just wish I could wake up with a diffrent life tomorrow.
Had to have a rant, sorry.
Lu
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Comments
i'm not quite sure what you are so flustrated about?
you're depression is likely not to be catogarized as "severe" unless you are actively suicidal.
it's sounds as though, there is a good team of professionals there to help you.
as for waiting times, they vary according to the severity of your condition and where you are in the country.
Anyway, hope that makes some sense, lots more hugs, take care xxxxxxx
Unless you are a very high priority you won't get seen quickly or very often, but that's because mental health services are so poor in this country.
so true. with all appointment things, really, but even more so with mental health things.
you want them to either say that it's easily fixed and then fix it, or you want them to say you're a high priority, and will get loads of time and attention until you are fixed.
usually neither is true. 99% of recovering from depression is down to you. you will get used to being on waiting list after waiting list. you will find doctors, nurses and therapists to pin your hopes on, but you will not get better until you decide to do it yourself.
When i went, as usual i completely froze up. I couldnt say half of how i felt and i just automatically answered all the 'where do you live' 'what achool did you go to' questions. He asked what i plan to do in the future and silly me gave my well rehearsed answer of 'apply to police'. In reality ive no intentions of applying and have no future anyway!
His answers were mild depression, mostly just emotional problems. Dont need medication (even though my gp wanted him to prescribe), and that i should see a psychologist. I sat in the car park in tears for about an hour after. i almost went back in to throw myself on his floor! (seriously!)
When i went back to my gp though, i was in such a state, i was told that would take too long and i needed help quicker, so she put me on another anti-depressant and im seeing my counseller again.
The best way to deal with it, ive found, is not to expect any great outcomes. I see my gp once a month for my repeat precription, and a counseller once a week. It does get easier to let the barriers down. I went to my gp today and just couldnt find words. she knows what to ask me about though, so said 'is it 2000 questions today or are you going to tell me how things have been'. lol. its a slow process but you get there in the end.
Went to the GP this morning - and as I told the psyc they don't have a counsellor at the practise .
I got pissed off yesterday mainly because he decided my main problem was my endo and how thats effecting me mentally - and he as good as said 'well there's nothing I can do to help you'.
Its just I've been depressed for 3 years and for someone to turn round and say, well you're mildly depressed and there's not much we can really do for most of it is really bloody frustrating. :mad: How am I suposed to live a 'normal' life if I can't cope with most physical things and now they're not helping my mental state either... it's bloody impossible. I'm suposed to go see my connexions advisor on thursday so they can start helping me think towards careers, but there isn't a chance in hell I can do anything until somethings sorted out for me. I was hoping I'd be able to go back to her after this psyc appointment and say they're helping me out... but OH NO they're not... at least not until I slit my wrists for them. maybe I should send a pot of blood to them or something :impissed:
I havn't got anything to keep me going until they decide they want to see me again as well because like I told them there really is no other counselling available.
I'm just waiting for endless appointments. Doesn't look like I'll be able to face going back to college in september either and I took this year off to get everything sorted. I just feel like I havn't got anywhere at all.
The only reason I'm still 'coping' is because I do absolutly nothing all the time and thats fucking pissing me off too because I feel lazy but as soon as I do something I'm in pain and sobbing. :impissed:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One good thing though - my doc has said it's fine for me to have another packet of the pill without a break so at least that'll see me through until my endo specialist appointment.
Only 42 days to go :rolleyes:
* I know this is hard*
Paul
as has been said before, it's down to you to help yourself.
Ive lost my job, due to my temper, and jacked my 2 yr relationship in coz i see no future for myself nevermind with anybody.
But oh no- i just have an emotional problem!
makes ya laugh- or slit ya wrists.
TYhey said they can help my depression, but not all of it because some of it is caused by a very painful illness I have and they can't offer any help for the emotional side of that. And believe me, I've done everything I can to help myself - I go to a support group, get support on line, I've gone back to the docs even when the fobbed me off last time and basically said get on with it...
Sorry that sounded a bit defensive but I just can't cope with people keep stressing that theres nothing anyone can do for me. :impissed:
I just find it insulting that just because I don't react to depression in the same way that some people do I'm then not classed as needing 'emergancy' help.
I'm by no means having a go at suisidal people - my friend has been, it's shit and I know it is very serious... but somehow they got through their life and kept up with work and stuff and point blank refused to go for help at all - then theres me who can't do anything because it gets me in such a state - I've been crying out for help and going to all the right people yet still I'm not being looked after properly it feels like.
I think there just must be something seriously wrong with the mental health service. I actually came out worse than I'd already been feeling that day.
I should probably stop going on about this now. I'm just tired and feeling a bit hopeless today :yeees:
Ever get the feeling that you're just sick of being just on the edge of 'coping'?
Depression caused by illness is not a serious case, no matter how shit you feel. It's not a serious mental illness, it's not a serious personality disorder, it is a symptom of an illness.
It's hard to see it logically and rationally when it's you, I know, but try to understand that, because of the nature of your depression, you simply aren't a high-risk person.
The mental health service isnt good by far.
Is it possible a reason why anti-depressants are over-prescribed is that they have nothing else to offer? this country is desperately short of therapists and psychologists.
But what Kermit says makes a lot of sense.
But I know just how damn lucky I have been.
It's not a personal affront if you don't get therapy, it's just that there aren't enough therapists for everyone and the "serious" people, the people with serious personality disorders and mental disorders get first dibs.
my gp said to me after my psych appt- years ago, theyd have been more willing to help you, but these days they are only able to people with serious disorders such as bipolar, schitzophrenia.
probably why a lot of people are mis-diagnosed, undiagnosed.
It really messed me up bad after my appt, but i realised i had to make use of what i did have. A good, caring gp- and with a lot of effort on my part- to open up to her- i can get help from.
I hope things begin to feel a bit better for you. Don't lose faith in the NHS, I'm sure they are trying their absolute best. You have to remember that (as Kermit says) it's so hard to judge how depressed you are when you're feeling it. Not to trivialise how shit things feel for you, I do understand.
Got myself a bit worked up - I'm not feeling so bad today. I had an appointment to see my connexions advisor and had a chat with her. She's really easy to talk to and I told her how stuck I felt having to wait for various appointments before I can think of sorting my life out. She was really helpful and I came out feeling a lot better.
She's gunna see if there's any sort of temperary counselling available anywhere as the GP hasn't got any. And she's building up ideas for what I can do that isn't too physically demanding or too big a commitment cos I never know when I'll be able to do stuff or be too ill :rolleyes:
I know but you were also a lot friskier in those days ..
You can't see, but I'm giving you a whithering look. :yeees: